I'm his submissive?

22

—————Lilly—————

I smile softly and lean into master as I listen to the next persons question.

"Is there anything you would change about your dominant if you could? Trey, is there anything you'd change about Lilly?" I look up at master to listen to his response, smiling as he shakes his head.

"No I wouldn't change a thing, I just hope that as she gets more comfortable she speaks a little more around the house!" I smile and lightly push him and gently tap his mouth which causes a few laughs around the audience, he laughs slightly before commenting "whoops, maybe I shouldn't have said that!" I smile softly and also laugh a little. "Sorry master, anyway would I change anything about master? No, at least not at the moment - I mean possibly that he has his phone on him so I can contact him and he answer/respond but otherwise no. Masters honestly the best dominant I could have wished for."

I smile and master leans down and softly kisses my lips. I blush a little and hide my face in his chest. The questions soon end and master tells everyone that they can send any questions into the show.

We're only on the stage for another 10 minutes or so and as soon as it's finished master picks me up and carries me to the dressing room, he grabs his bags and then carries me and the bags to the car before driving back to the hotel. We get there and there's a group of reporters around the staff entrance, master sighs but gets out, opening the door for me, grabbing my hand whilst I hold his bag and then he leads me up to the room. Once we're in the room both master and I relax once he's locked the door shut.

Looking round the suite seems cleaner than when we left it and there's food in the kitchen cupboards. I smile and make a cup of tea for me whilst master changes out of his suit, once he's back I make him a coffee and then go and change before sitting next to him and leaning against him.

"Master?" I speak softly and he instantly looks to me "Yes Lils?". I look up at him and take a breath before speaking, "I think it's time I tell you about my past, why I don't like being called my full name and what my triggers for my anxiety are" he nods and smiles softly, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close "tell me whatever you want my flower" I blush a little but then begin speaking.

"I've always been raised as a sub, apparently when I could walk and talk, it was clear I wasn't going to be a Dom so my parents made the decision to start teaching me respect etc from an early age. The same happened with Anna but Emily was different - Mags felt that she was a Dom so when she got her classification as a sub it all went downhill as she was having to relearn her mannerisms etc. That's when Mags got it in her head Emily was going to be a famous doms sub and would research doms to see who hadn't been matched. Emily became a bully when she realised her mindset was changing, she'd been raised a Dom and so often asked Anna and me to do things or blame stuff on us as we were the easy scapegoat, but when she was classified as a sub that changed as Anna and I could do stuff better than she could, she didn't like it so started to bully us and spread rumours about us. Her and Mags are the ones why I don't like being called my name, it was always 'Lillian do this or Lillian do that' and 'mum Lillian broke this' etc, having Mags shout my name and then punish me for no reason has made me learn to despise my name and it be a partial trigger.
My main triggers for my anxiety are:
- being called my full name
- lots of shouting towards me
- thoughts of not doing good enough
- disappointing you
- getting lost in my thoughts for longer than necessary
- hearing my name being spoken about directly behind my back - especially if I'm in the room and it's obvious.
- sometimes just me overthinking or reading something can make me more anxious

Another thing about my past is that I was constantly told I wasn't going to be a good sub and my Dom would be unlucky to be matched with me. Having praise/reassurance from you, even if it's non verbal such as squeezing my hand or kissing my forehead can lower my possible anxiety levels. There's also one other thing but I don't want to tell you just yet."

I look up at master and see him smiling down at me. When he notices I'm watching to see his reaction he leans down and kisses me softly. "Thank you for telling me that Lils, let me know if you ever need reassurance and I'll make sure to listen to calm you down, anything relating to your anxiety please let me know, if you become more anxious or something triggers you, even slightly let me know immediately and I'll do my best to get you out of the situation and calming down. Now I've got you a new phone, shall we set it up with the contacts you want?"

I smile and give master a tighter hug, he laughs a little as I nod. "Yes please master" he smiles then gets up and pulls out the box to an iPhone 12 Pro, my eyes widen as I catch sight of the blue one and I smile.
"Thank you, thank you - you didn't have to get such an expensive phone!"
"Nonsense Lils, you're amazing and deserve the best!"

I smile and turn my old phone on, not looking at the messages or voicemails and going to the contacts and together with master we move the contacts I want to keep across.

—————————
Authors note:

Hey guys - sorry for the delay! I've gone back to work today and so it's only a short one - hopefully the next one will be longer! Let me know if you've any questions for Trey or Lilly and I will answer them in the Q&A  in a few chapters!

Thanks for all the comments and votes - hope you're enjoying it so far!

G 🙂

Published 22.05.21