Fucked Up Lives

Chapter Forty Four

Em’s POV –

Hanging out with the Motionless guys I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. Watching them write their music was a treat although Ricky was nowhere to be seen, I felt guilty for all I’d done. You see my demons, vast and plentiful yet now conquered I had found clarity and bought myself back down to earth.

Ricky walked into the room, staggering tripping over his feet. Slowly I walked toward him, standing tall with my mess hair, wearing Ghost’s Adventure Time tee shirt over ripped jeans and I smiled softly as I placed a loving hand on his shoulder before the smell of bourbon overpowered me; alcohol… one of my many demons.

“Listen, I don’t want to do the big bullshit saga where I ask you to talk in private, but I know I owe you an apology. I fucked up my whole life and now I’m working toward getting myself whole again, I understand we’re broken up and I’m not asking for a second chance, I just wish you the best and hope you too escape the dark.” I whispered before kissing Ricky on the cheek.

Feeling slightly overwhelmed I left the room, with a sunken heart and a knot in my stomach. I did miss Ricky, but I knew going back to any of my ex’s would lead me back down the path of self destruction; drinking, drunks and self abuse. I didn’t need that.

Moving through the halls I heard whispering coming from Val’s room. Val; another soul I owed an apology to.

Knocking on the door and I heard further whispering, almost shocked and as if something was being hidden from the rest of us.

Val finally opened the door, her eyes staring me up and down as she scowled.

“Hey Val…..” I greeted to receive a grunt as if my once best friend didn’t give a fuck about me or what I had to say.

“Listen…. This isn’t easy, but you’re my best friend and I miss you. I owe you the biggest apology of them all for all I’ve put you through. I was sick Val. Please, I’m not telling you you must accept anything I say or any apology I make, I’d just love it if we could get through this and begin again. Meet me later so we can discuss this further, you know where to find me.” I explained.

Slowly backing away into the darkened room the door closed causing me to hang my head in sadness fearing I’d lost my friendship with Val forever.

Walking back toward my room I heard someone calling my name. Tunring I saw my big brother coming toward my, bags packed and slung over his shoulder.

“Em….. hey doll.” Max chirped snatching me up in a loving hug.

“Hey, where are you going?” I quizzed. Max chuckled.

“The band has that huge tour starting tomorrow, my place is there and there’s nothing here for me anymore; I mean you can look after yourself, plus those Motionless boys adore you.” Max stated.

“Nothing here for you…. What about Val?” I queried.

Max grinned and nodded. ‘It was fun while it lasted, I think she ended it. But you know sis, if it’s meant to be; it’s meant to be.”

Smiling and softly nodding I kissed my brother on the cheek as I hugged him tightly.

“Well if you gotta go, go. Don’t want you to miss your flight.” I announced.

With one last hug Max headed toward the front of the house, I listened as the door opened and closed. There goes my big brother, the only one in the house I could honestly trust.

Sitting in my room my mind raced. Since my awakening I’d felt a strange mix of both happiness and sadness. I focused my attention on all the people I’d hurt, the one’s I’d gotten killed and those I’d used to try and make myself feel better.

My train of thought was broken by a knock on the door.

“It’s unlocked.” I answered.

The door creaked open and I saw Ben and Tony enter.

“Hey.” I greeted softly looking up at the pair sitting on my bed keens pulled to my chest.

“What do you guys need?” I asked smiling, although the smiles on the two mens faces turned wicked.

“A woman like you, what do you think we want?” Ben announced.

“Yeah, you’re a slut. So we came to use for at what you do best.” Tony added.

Wide eyed I stared as the two moved closer toward me.

“I’m not a slut, I’ve changed.” I pleaded.

Useless, words fell upon deaf ears. Ben grabbed my arms restraining me and Tony held a hand over my mouth.

A knock on the door sounded as I struggled against the two guys.

“Emma….. It’s Devin……  fucking answer me.” Ghost called out concerned.

Tony moved his hand from over my mouth and pressed a finger to his lips to silence me.

Climbing off my bed Tony walked toward the door to lock it. As he moved closer to the door I knew it was now or never.

“Ghost, Ben and Tony are in here, fucking help!” I howled.

Ben released my arms and flung me off the bed against the wall.

“Fucking bail.” Ben shouted as he ran across the room.

Tony turned back glaring at me as the two ripped open the door and ran down the hall.

Looking up I saw blood dripping down my face and Ghost kneeling over me, bright lights surrounding him as he spoke but I didn’t hear a word. All I saw was him, frightened and shouting and all I heard was a high pitched ringing.

In that moment, I wondered if I’d die. How would Max handle the news that I’d been attacked and hurt? Only saved because Ghost came to check on me, which he’d regularly been doing. Looking after me, Ghost had been my savior.

Reaching up a hand I ran it through the blood. Ghost took my hand and moved it away from the drips, smiling I reached up a hand and touched his cheek.

“My guardian angel.” I whispered as the surrounding went dark but his light still remained.

I knew better than to trust many people due to my past and I wasn’t looking for any type of relationship of meaningless fuck. But after the last week, I knew I could trust Ghost. He was a great guy and made me feel safe. I needed him in these hard times.