Randomly

CLINGY

Y/N's POV

Have you haver thought that you're too much? Like one minute everything is fine but then you start questioning everything... Well... That's me right now.

I'm staying at my boyfriend's house. Shawn and I have been dating for six months and I love him. We have a pretty loving and affectionate relationship, but for some reason a thousand questions and doubts are crossing my mind: Am I too much? Does Shawn think that I'm too clingy? Does Shawn need some space?????

"Don't pause the movie, I'm just going to the bathroom" I say while I get up. In bathroom I wash my face and just try to calm my breathing. Maybe I'll just give Shawn some space, I don't want him to leave me because I'm too clingy, I say to myself. When I came back to the living room, instead of cuddling with Shawn, I seat on the other sofa receiving a funny look from my boyfriend "what are you doing baby?" "I want to stretch out on this couch all by myself" I simply respond.

A couple hours later Shawn gets up "I'm going to take a shower to relax, do you wanna join me baby?" Shawn asks with a smirk in his face. Yes, that's all I want right now... "Thank you babe, but I'm tired I think I'm just going to bed". I was about to fall asleep, lying with my back to Shawn's side when I feel the bed sag and Shawn lies down and puts his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. "Good night princess I love you" he sighs in my ear, but I don't answer and eventually fall asleep.

The next day I wake up to an empty bed, but I can hear a melody coming from the other room, so I decide to follow the music. I lean against the door and listen to Shawn playing the guitar, it is impossible not to have a smile on my face, because this is one of the most beautiful images I have ever seen. How I managed to be so lucky, I have the best boyfriend ever and I just feel like jumping into his lap and giving him a million kisses, but I hold back don't be so clingy I remember myself. "Good morning love" Shawn says noticing me. He gets up and comes over to give me a good morning kiss. Shawn deepens the kiss, his tongue asks for permission to enter. But I don't let it by finishing the kiss. He looks at me confused but says nothing. "Hey let's go to the kitchen to make breakfast" he says and I nod.

SHAWN's POV

We go to the kitchen, and I can't help but noticing that Y/N doesn't give me her hand as she usually does. Did I do anything? "I already made my coffee, but I can make yours too" I say "There is no need, I'll do it" she says and smiles. What's going on? I don't remember doing anything but yesterday she was already a little distant ... "Shawn are you listening to me?" she asks, diverting me from my thoughts "I said I had to go to my parents' house to do some business, but if you want, we can watch a movie or something later ..." "Of course, yes". When breakfast ends, she gets up and goes get ready to leave.

***A COUPLE HOURS LATER***

After Y / N left I decided to go to Luks house. When I return home, I see the Y / N car parked, which means she has arrived. When I enter the house, I see her on the sofa reading a book, it must be a really good book because she doesn't even realize that I've got home. I approach her and kiss her on the forehead and wait for her to straightens up so I can sit next to her, but she doesn't move so I have to sit on the other end of the sofa. What's up? I know she is right next to me, but it seems so far away ... "Y/N?" She looks away from the book and looks at me "Is everything okay?" "Yes, everything is fine" Lie, I know she is lying to me, but I don't understand why.

The rest of the day passes, Y/N continues to read her book and I watch the TV show, but I can't pay much attention. When she finally closes the book, I open my arms and ask her "Baby want to come closer to me?" "Do you want me to?" I raise my eyebrow, what type of question is this? "Of course, love" and that's what she does.

At 11 pm the Y/N starts to yawn so we decided to go to bed. While she is still in the bathroom brushing her teeth, I lie down without really knowing what to do with myself, when she comes back from the bathroom, I ask her "Love, do you want to lie with your head on my chest?" "Do you want me to do it?" why the hell is she doubting me like that, what did I do? "Of course, I always want you as close to me as possible" I say "ok" is all she says while lying down. A few minutes of complete silence pass before I say "Good night princess, love you" "Me too" is the only thing she says before closing her eyes. Why didn't she say i love u, why didn't she kiss me good night?? Y/N falls asleep quickly, but I end up staying awake for a few more hours without being able to fall asleep.

I woke up with Y/N in my arms, I should get up to go to work but this is as close as I have been to Y/N in the last few days, so I just decide to stay in bed admiring my pretty girlfriend. The sun coming through the window hits Y/N directly in the face making it impossible for me to look away. I feel her starting to wake up but she doesn't open her eyes, so I hug her even more tightly and give her a kiss on the forehead and another on her lips, she smiles but doesn't say anything or move.

Last night I couldn't fall asleep because all kinds of thoughts were going through my mind: Doesn't she like me anymore? Will she break up with me? Did she meet someone else? I can't do it anymore I have to talk to her because this whole distance is killing me, it is torture to have her here so close and feel her so distant.

"Y/N?" "Shawn" she replies without opening her eyes "Don't you like me anymore?" I ask in fear. She opens her eyes suddenly and fixes her gaze on mine with a worried face. "Did I ever make you feel like I didn't like you anymore?" "In the last few days you have been so distant from me, we have always been an affectionate couple, but last night you didn't even kiss me good night" tears slide down Y/N's face and her look shows sadness and regret. "I'm so so so sorry, I love you, of course I love you, you are the most important thing in my life" "So why have you been so far away? Did I do something?" I ask.

Y/N's POV

"Did I do something?" of course he did nothing, it's me who always let myself be carried away by doubts and insecurities... I don't believe I hurt Shawn but how can I explain it to him, he won't understand and he will think I'm crazy... And it will leave me...And ... Y/N don't start this is what left you in this situation in the first place ...

Shawn takes my hands in his and squeezes them gently to make me look at him "Princess, I'm not upset, I just need you to talk to me so I understand" "Shawn you won't understand" "try me" I take a deep breath to calm myself down and start to explain "Everything was fine with me, with us but a few days ago I was thinking about us and I realized that I am very affectionate, I always want to hold your hand, I ask for hugs too often, I always want to cuddle with you ... And ... And I started to think too much and I thought you may feel that I was being too clingy, and that you didn't like it so I just wanted to give you some space" At this point some tears are sliding from Shawn eyes and it was at this moment that I really realized that I had fucked up really bad, but what he told me next was what surprised me the most and made me sure that he is the one for me.

"Love, I don't need space, I just need you. I didn't like the distance, in fact I hated the distance, I know how affectionate you are and that touch is your way of loving me. And I love you for that too. Please never do this again, if you are overthinking just talk to me. I want you for ever and ever" he kissed me, deeply and we spent the rest of the morning lying in bed cuddling and watching Netflix and I couldn't be happier because I realized I'm not too much, I'm just enough, at least enough for him.