Spark || March 2022

f o u r

TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK.

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B R I G H T  M O M E N T S,  Y O U N G  D A Y S, today was a day where it was destined that something was going to get united. Like a bulb, when a bulb meets the electrical contact, it glows, and that's what will happen, two souls are going to crash, and the result of it, sparks. 

With Theo finally adjusting to the fact that he couldn't do better in the game, things got rough. He feels it isn't him. He thinks that he wasn't like that before. He keeps questioning himself; that was going to be the failure of this season. Thoughts like these often made him depressed; thoughts like this frequently bought his self-confidence down, thoughts like these destroyed him.

He couldn't help it; when things don't go right, everybody tended to mess up themselves. It was normal, and he knew that, but his heart couldn't accept that.

He adjusted his shirt before coming down the lobby for dinner, and that's when he saw the paparazzi, but none of them were taking photos of him. Every single person was diverted to the star player in his team. He felt jealous, but he knew it was right; he knew if he had played properly, then the same things would have been occurring to him also. 

"With the mid-season trading going on now, would your team trade Theodore Hastings or drop him out of the team because you know he hasn't been playing well?" He heard this question ask by the paparazzi to their captain, and this was the last blow Theo needed.

He could feel the blood pounding in his ears. Why were such small words creating a huge difference in him? He tried, didn't he? He tried so much, but still, it led to this.

His heart thudded in his chest, His hands shook. His feet tingled. He could feel his knees give up; he couldn't stand anymore. His vision was disfigured; he couldn't see properly anymore.  He had to get away. He couldn’t stay at that place anymore, he knew the team management wasn't going to do anything to him and back him up, but he couldn't convince himself though. The mind always fluctuates to the worst-case scenarios. 

There was too much of a risk of someone coming and finding him, so he did the next thing anyone would do. He hid.

As soon as he found a safe place, he fell on his knees; he felt stranded. He took a long, slow deep breath to try to calm himself, but that didn't work. Nobody would know that he struggles like this, and that was enough to him; all he wanted was not to let others know that he gets panic attacks.

Mental health was something that more than half of the world's population didn't know about. Or maybe, weren't educated about it.  Many things need to be normalized and brought more awareness about. And mental health was certainly one of them.

He clutched his hands tightly, so tightly that his nails dug around in his palms. Breathing was hard. As if he ran some marathon. He cried harder. He kept crying. Crying for his failure.

In parallel, there was Andrea. Biting her nails frequently out of habit due to nervousness. She stood outside the hotel lobby, yet to meet the officials. She was anxious, excited; she could feel a mixture of feelings run through her blood.

She took a deep breath and started walking towards the area allowed for the cricket team.
But before she could reach the area, she heard sniffing sounds. Her ear listening range was sharp, to the point where she could listen that the person was breathing heavily. She knew that the person was having trouble breathing. Without another thought, her legs made way towards the voice.

As soon the person was in front of her view, she felt her vision soften, seeing the guy suffer in front of her. She dropped down to her knees and wondered if she could touch him or not because sometimes, that could trigger the person more.

But she also noticed that his hands were crawling, as if trying to hold something, so without a thought, she gave her the stuffed key chain toy she always had with her. And that worked out. It helped him to hold on to something while his breathing level became regular.

It was almost so heartbreaking to see someone suffer so painfully. It wasn't fair, completely not fair, but who said life was fair. Pain was something always etched at heart, something which we are born with, but instances like these trigger it. And brings out the worst, but the true nature of us.

It took some moments for Theo to recover and come out of his panic attack. Andrea, on the other hand, didn't know what to do; she was a person who was bad at helping someone with emotions. Basically, she didn't cry so easily. She preferred not to being out of her feelings when not needed, and that's what led her here, not knowing what to do.

She softly opened her mouth, making sure her voice was safe and soft, "are you okay?" she means, what else can she ask?

Theodore felt a moment of relief now because he practically had a panic attack in front of somebody; if this news reaches out in public, it'll damn affect his career. But, at the same second, he also felt sad that she didn't recognize him.

"Hey?" Andrea started, she didn't know what else to say,  "Uh- I— I don't know if— if this helps you or not— but, whate—ver happened in your life— it's not permanent, you can do better— and you will do better—, just—just don't think that this is the final and this will only happen, don't think that, this is just a phase in life and you can defeat this also."

Andrea felt herself cringing at the words she spoke, but it did make a small change in the breathing rate of the unknown person who sat in front of her.

She waited for quite a few moments till his breathing rate was normal, but before she could speak, or before he could say anything, Andrea's phone rung, to which she picked in a hurry and left the room, realizing that she was late for the meeting.

What she didn't know was, her keychain was still with him.  And that's how their story begun, colliding of 2 souls.

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