Her Beautiful Mistake

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 8.

Lost

What keeps us alive when the other half is about to give up
When lights are painting brown and tears are drowning down
It's hard to sink in and totally give in for those memories i'd thought i would be happy
But it brings me traumatic one  and unhappy life.

For almost weeks, i didn't seen him when i got hom he wasn't there anymore. Ang pait kung ngumiti dahil sa ideyang iyon.

I'm his wife pero kahit kailan never ko naranasan na maging asawa niya. Did he love the girl so much na ba? Bakit kailangan na humantong kame sa ganito. I don't know what I'm going to do, for sure mom and dad will get mad if malalaman nila iyong totoo.

Katotohanan na matagal ko ng itinago sa kanila. Na masaya ako okay ako , okay kame ni Gideon but the truth is hindi naman palabas lang lahat.

Morning, i ate breakfast and afterwards i brushed my teeth and finish my morning skincare routine.
I was busy applying some cream on my face when i heard the doorbell.

"Wait up"

I opened the door and I'm shocked when gideon's drunk face infront of me.

"Gideon-?"

Na amoy ko iyong alak ang aga pa para uminom siya. What now? Something happened coz knowing him hindi siya mag iinom if walang nangyari.

"Do you have any idea how hurtful it was to me?"

He was grabbing ny arm and pushed me against the wall. My body can't take it the pain but i know he didn't care at all.

"You killed my baby"

"Ilang weeks ka nawala gideon wala akong ginagawang masama-"

"She cried everynight to sleep, she's broken. She's stress her self out because you keep bothering her!.she can't sleep at night and then... She breaks down and she miscarriag-- fuck!"

I have no tears to cry tulala lang ako nakatitig kay gideon. Ako ang sinisisi niya sa nangyare siguro may kasalanan din ako pero hindi ko sinasadya na humantong sa pagkawala ng inosenteng bata.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry? Putangina saan aabot ang sorry mo huh? Flain yun nalang pag-asa ko sa lahat eh. I wanted to become a father but this time i failed!"

"Gideon pwede naman tayo mag ka baby I'm rea--"

And he slapped me.

"Bitch! sa tingin mo maging mabuting nanay ka? Putangina naman flain ngayon pa nga lang may napatay ka na eh. What more if anak mo pa? And to tell you hindi ko papayagan na nag dalang tao ka sa anak ko because you're nothing but a trash!".

Pumikit nalang ako sa sigaw niya my body is shaking for I don't even know. Siguro dahil sa takot or mas nangingibabaw yung pag-iisip ko sa baby.

Gusto ko siyang sumbatan naisip niya kalagayan ng babae niya habang ako ni hindi niya man lang naisip?. She's crying for what? Asking gideon to marry her? And ituloy ung annulment namin hindi ko na alam kung saan na ako ngayon pero ang bigat na parang isusuka ko lahat-lahat na nangyari sa buhay ko.

"I'm sorry i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me atleast-"

"No flain i want an annulment and i will talk to my lawyer about this at wala kang magagawa dun."

Nahihilo ako sa mga sinabi niya pero hinarap ko siya ng maayos at pinahid ang mga luha sa mga mata ko.

"Okay, but hindi sa ngayon hayaan mo muna ako makapag isip. Hayaan mo muna akong makasama ka kahit apat na araw lang please "

"Wala akong pake alam sa ilang araw pa yan basta permahan mo at malaya ka ng lumandi kahit kanino."

Umakyat siya sa taas at iniwan ulit ako na hilong hilo sa nangyayare. So far  sinisisi ko sarili ko bakit kailangan humantong sa ganito?. Isang bata ang nawala at hindi ko alam if magiging maayos ako kakaisip sa baby.

I wish i have one but Gideon's right I don't deserve being a mom and that's my world to fit in too.