Like Gold

27.

27.

THE DRIVE to Fairview Cemetery was eventful to say the least.

By the time we arrived, my hands were sweaty, and my palms were kissed with nail marks from squeezing my fists so tightly. Yet, somehow, we'd made it.

The second the car stopped, I'd tumbled out of my seat, falling onto the grass with trembling knees. Jace held me for a few minutes until he decided I was calm enough. Then, he disappeared to ask the groundskeeper for directions.

I sat on the grass alone, picking loose stalks of grass out of the soil and tossing bark across the floor.

Fairview hadn't changed in the year since I'd been here. The gates I rode my wheelchair through were still rusted and old. The gravestones still stuck out of the dirt like weeds. Were there more? Probably. I couldn't tell.

I turned away from them, squeezing my eyes shut.

One of them belonged to Amber. I couldn't even recognise which one was hers. A sudden pang of guilt hit me. I'd never visited. I'd never cleaned her grave or left her flowers. She had no family left in West Mormet. I wondered if she even got any visitors.

I'd abandoned her.

My heart pinched and I felt my eyes burn, but before I could spiral, Jace interrupted.

"It's just down this way," he said, coming to a stop in front of me. I looked up, tears welled in my eyes, and his smile fell. His hand dropped to his side; flowers clutched in his fist. I sniffed, gazing up at him.

"Where did you get those?"

He blinked down at the flowers in his hand, as if just remembering they were there. "Some ladies were selling them near the groundskeepers. Thought I'd buy a few. You know, make a good first impression."

I laughed and he reached out a hand, pulling me to my feet. I dusted myself off, turning to face the daunting gates that lead into the cemetery. That lead me to Amber.

Jace, having never released my hand, gave my fingers a short squeeze, and we began walking.

We walked through the rusting gates and past the rows upon rows of graves. Graves and head stones. Mourning families. Families leaning over the ground, cleaning memorials, and laying flowers. Parents leaving unused toys at tombstones. In the distance, a burial was taking place.

I turned away, my breath catching in my throat.

Amber, I thought to myself, the words threatening to scream out of me. Amber, are you here?

Please be here.

I miss you.

We continued walking, Jace leading me down one path, then another, and then things began to become very familiar.

I recognised the path. The trees.

And then there it was.

There she was.

Amber.

I spotted it first. My legs screeched to a halt, my knees wobbling beneath me as tears burned at my eyes. Jace paused, following my gaze to Amber's headstone.

Amber Liu.

NOV 18, 2003 – OCT 12, 2020

Our beloved daughter.

Someone had rested flowers by it. In fact, there were a few bouquets, all of them fresh. I guessed that some people had already visited her for her birthday. My heart trembled. I was happy. I was so happy that people were still visiting her, still remembering her. I prayed that she wasn't lonely.