Third Person POV:
The Great Hall fell silent for the first time at breakfast as Severus marched up to the teachers' table, positively seething. He was dressed in muggle jeans and a hoodie, Cornish pixies fluttering around him. 3 were braiding strands of his hair, the others throwing glitter. He came to a stop in front of the imbecile of a DADA professor.
Lockheart, not catching on, beamed at him. "Ah, Severus, enjoying the decorations?"
"Oh yes!" said Severus in a fake bright voice. Many of the students dropped food and jaws at the retort. Severus clasped Lockheart's shoulder with a hand. "The pixies are a wonderful touch. They came as soon as I returned from the forest."
"Thank you, but what on Earth were you doing in the forest, Severus?" asked Lockheart, still beaming.
Severus reinstated his fake voice. "Oh, I was in there chilling with Jesus. You see, he and I have become really close; we had a tea party and he transfigured stones into wine and bread. We spoke for a while, talking about how we need God's miracle because Jesus himself can't fix that screwed up brain of yours."
The pixies around him burst into giggles, the rest of the school to shocked too respond. Severus turned to Dumbledore. "If Slytherin's monster doesn't finish him off, I will."
He sarcastically patted Lockheart on the cheek twice before turning on his heel and marching off, the pixies zooming after him.
As soon as the door was shut behind him, McGonagall let out a wheeze and the entire Hall burst into laughter as Lockheart glanced around, frowning and slightly bemused.
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Severus Snape Oneshots
FanfictionOneshots of Snape I found funny and decided to write. Enjoy! Credit to the original authors will be shown if i publish someone else's work.
