Brick by Brick (BDTW #2)

Chapter 11

Hey guys! New chapter! Hope you like it!

Chapter 11

A shove on the shoulder awoke me with a jolt, my arms flying out to punch the first thing my fist could make contact with. I heard a grunt and a curse, I opened my eyes to see Tobias holding the side of his head.

"Didn't have to hit me, sis." He muttered, checking his hand for blood.

"Didn't have to wake me, bro," I replied, crossing my arms. I hated those terms and he knew it. He used to say them just to aggravate me when I was a kid. "I don't like it when people touch me when I'm sleeping." All I could think was Marcus and I shuddered.

He sighed and sat down beside me, a mess of black clothing all jumbled together. He just looked at me for a moment before saying, "What happened. In Erudite."

Wow, that's direct. I shook my head. "Bass-"

"I'm serious." He said. "You haven't been the same. "You're colder, you're cruel, you're... you're not you, Cath. You're acting like Carter." He stared up at the mirror and closed his eyes. "I just really need you to be Cath right now. Tell me what happened."

I hadn't realized that I had multiple personalities to match my names. I guess I did. Wasn't that a disorder? Whatever. 

I spent so much time bottling everything up that these huge episodes of venting were the only ways to get things off my chest, but I wasn't in the mood to share what happened in Erudite yet. It hadn't really sunken into me. It wasn't even that bad, I knew it could've been a lot worse, but I wasn't ready to face those emotions.

"Bass, grief is hard for me to handle okay? Usually I'd just blurt everything out non stop to get it out of my system but I can't do that anymore. I have to just deal with it on my own. I need..." I trailed off. I didn't know what I needed. I just didn't want to get hurt anymore. 

"I need space. I need... walls. I can't talk about it." I said it all looking at my feet, and it left us there just sitting in a thick slice of silence. 

"Was it really that bad?" his voice dripped of concern and dread, but I quickly wanted to squander those feelings. 

"No, it really wasn't. It was just..."  I spaced out for a moment, thinking to all those times that damned neck brace had fried me. "Too much. All at once."

"Okay," he finally said. "Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

I just nodded. There was nothing to say. No words. So I just got up, put one foot in front of the other, and pushed open the doors to the washroom. One foot in front of the other, one day after the next, until life moves on. You just have to keep going, I guess.

"Wait." He said, his voice more relaxed. He extended his arms and I fell into them.

"We're going to get them, Cath." He murmured. "What they did wasn't right."

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded, and we walked out of the washroom to the Amity cafeteria. Bass scanned the crowd until he found Tris then headed over to the table. I frowned. She'd cut her hair. I liked it, though. It suited her face.

My brother ran his hands gently through the short strands. "I like it." He said. She smiled and took a bite of her toast. Everything on the table looked very...healthy. Dried fruits and nuts. Whole grain bread and butter. A fruit salad and individual fruits such as bananas and apples. Rabbit food, the Dauntless would've called it. I wrinkled my nose. Despite my stomach's gurgling, I wasn't going to test my luck with food. After everything that had happened for the past few days, I didn't think it would stay down.