I'll Find You (UshiHina Short Story)

Chapter 3

Note: This chapter and the rest of this story goes dark. If you don't want that type of the story. Do not continue on.

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"Shoyo..."

Shoyo looked at his lover. He is lying down his head on his lover, Wakatoshi's lap. For the past few months when they started their forbidden relationship, they meet secretly every night. Sneaking out from his room and then go to their secret place.

Not even once that anyone questions Wakatoshi about going out everynight. His family thought that maybe at Wakatoshi's age, it is just normal.

But for Shoyo, he almost got caught by a servant. Good thing he managed to make an alibi and successfully gone out without anyone knowing.

"Yes, is there something that bothers you?"

"It's nothing big, my beloved. It's just that, I wonder if there's a time that men like us could go out publicly without any judgment? Or that what if our family are in good terms and see our relationship as good as how we see it?"

Shoyo looked at Wakatoshi fondly "Maybe it could make us feel free? I... Am also wondering the same thing everynight actually. I have dreamt of us, walking out hand in hand, in frint if many people. That I can shout in front of everybody just how much I love you. I'm dreaming of a world where we can be free."

"Me too, my love. Me too."

"You sound so solemn just now, Wakatoshi. Is there something else you want to tell me?"

Wakatoshi cleared his throat. He can't make himself to tell Shoyo but knowing his lover's ability to read him, he find it hard to hide a thing to him. It's not a bad thing. Because sometimes, even if he intend to hide his own worries, all of it ended up buried away with Shoyo's comfort and reassurance when Shoyo started to read him.

"Shoyo... You know that I'm a candidate as one of the Emperor's Royal Guards, right? I... recieved a letter, summoning me to the Palace. It said that it's time for the Emperor to choose them."

Shoyo smiled. But Wakatoshi perfectly know what his lover really feels. He can see it on his lover's eyes.

So Wakatoshi cupped his chin and kisses him. "I'm thinking of..."

"No. Don't. I want you to go there, my love. I know that being the Emperor's Royal Guard is one of your dreams on goals. I won't take that away from you.

I... Myself don't want you to go, if only I could be so selfish. But my heart won't take it if I take one of your dreams away for you just for my own sake. And... I wanted to support you. To see you being the man you want to be. Just promise me you'll be back, safe. You understand?"

Wakatoshi hid his face to hide a single teardrop he shed by kissing Shoyo once again. "I don't want to leave you here too. I want to be stubborn, but since you wanted me to go, all I could do is to make sure you'll proud as soon as you see me again. And I also promise that I'll be back safe for you."

They spent the night together. Sharing each other's embrace... And so much more as their farewell to each other.

***

Shoyo secretly hid somewhere where he can see Wakatoshi ride his horse. He is satisfied to at least bid a silent goodbye before Wakatoshi go to the palace.

Wakatoshi saw him and mouthed "I'll be back. I love you" which he answered with "And I to you".

When he came back to his house. He can't feel but miss Wakatoshi right away. He can immidiately feel Wakatoshi's absence for a while.