torment in paradise

III

the atmosphere was incredibly tense and it was undeniable, the teenagers sat staring forwards and Phil made a mental effort not to move in a swift motion. Tommy sat with his legs squeezed together clenching Tobys hand like he might die if he let go. the smooth voiced boy spoke first causing Tommy's jittery body to flinch in tic like motions to which Toby stroked a thumb over the back of his hand in an effort of calm.
'I'm Will, I understand that you're very nervous but I promise we're friendly, Techno may not look it but he's a big softie' he nudged an elbow semi-harshly into the boy sat next to him, he was dressed in a barely ironed white shirt and had shoulder length soft pink hair, a harsh juxtaposition to his unwavering death stare that seemed to be aimed at life in general. for some reason this antisocial glare made Tommy feel more safe than Wills soft voiced sweet persona that he felt was a horrible act. Toby pried Tommy's thumb from digging its nail into the flesh of Tommy's hand and took the moment of silence to introduce them both to the other boys.
'I'm Toby and this is Tommy he doesn't want to be here because he's had alot of homes and people are mean to him all the time but Im excited because no one ever picks me for home visits because I'm autistic and annoying and-' he was cut off by Tommy squeezing his hand to get his attention, he leant into Tobys ear and whispered something the others couldn't hear which made Toby wrap up his small ramble '...if i talk too much youll hate me so... umm hi' Tommy closed his eyes in distress that Toby had just told the group what he whispered but didn't hold any resentment because he knew he should've specifically told him not to say it out loud. Techno seemed the most distressed by this comment which Tommy took as a notably odd reaction, his inner note-taking was cut off by the horrifying echo of an unknown booming voice that he soon realised was in fact Techno.
'don't think that, we'll never hate you for being yourselves ok' the overwhelming authority in his deep voice took Tommy's brain and shook it into shape, he nodded in frantic submission and stared unmoving burning holes through the tips of his shoes. Toby wasn't one to get affected by an authoritative tone so just kept rambling until he had checked off his top 5 facts about his birds that lived outside the window of his old room and when he came to a natural finish Phil was the one to speak this time.

'would you like a house tour, I'm going to finish the food but Will and Techno can take you' Tommy's entire body clenched up and pushed itself deep against the sofa and he frantically darted his eyes between Phil and the boys, a harrowing flashback to another heart-wrenching house tour with a boy around Wills age ripped itself through Tommys mind overtaking his conscious thoughts almost completely before an intense pressure pulled him from his overwhelm. despite his intense hatred for human contact, Toby had learnt from countless mornings and nights of conversations that a big pressure would act as Tommy's reset button whenever his eyes started clouding with what Toby had decided was bad memories. Phil had decided to give the tour himself during Tommy's episode and the tour had commenced before Tommy could fully regain his general sense of processing the world around him.

after a naturally dull tour of classic household appliances they came to a corridor of bedrooms, Phil's room was a classic middle aged single man den; an xbox; a pc in the corner and a bed so we'll made it almost bumped the scale up to a 10/10 on its own. soon though after being subjected to a flickthrough of a photobook they reached their room, they skipped the other boys room due to privacy, two wooden bunk beds sat in opposite corners accompanied with cream desks instead of a second bed flourished with a full pc set up, one red and one green. yet on the note of a loud clattering sound from downstairs that startled Tommys heart into frantic beating Tommy's detailed note taking of every item in the room was cut short causing a slight pang of regret and discomfort that was drowned immediately by the general anxieties of being in this environment.

the children were ushered downstairs where a 'feast' of sorts was prepared for them, the useless decoration of a social worker was already picking away at some cheeseballs and the teenage boys were bussying themselves in the background with paper plates and cups. they were hastily whispering to eachother, or at least the pink haired one was whispering rather urgently and getting immediately subdued. Tobys biggest problem getting placed or going to home visits, besides his general personality and medical history, was his sensory issues with food so scanning the table of unsafe foods was demoralising and completely obliterated the hope within him. in every visit he'd ever had this was usually the point of no return, he wouldn't touch a single thing, the social worker would try and explain it to the parents yet at the end of the day he'd never hear back. he felt a small tap on his back and jumped back into reality realising he'd lost Tommy's hand and was standing near the table but not sitting. turning around to figure out who it was that tapped him he was greeted with technos torso holding out a plate of what he hoped were cheese crackers. he took them happily and turned away to scurry off to the table before remembering common human decency and turned to make swift eye contact with the once peircing eyes of the teenager but what he looked into instead were pools of gentle understanding, he muttered a thank you and continued to the empty seat that Tommy had saved aggressively for him. soon enough everyone had sheeted themselves and the boys clenched themselves in preparation for the conversation that always happened over these lunches between parents and social workers, the 'this kids great but maybe not a great fit for us' talk that the adults pretended 10 year old kids couldn't understand purely because their brains were different. Tommy reached over to pour himself a glass of depression water yet his hands changed course when he saw the plate of cheese crackers in front of Toby and the bowl of what he could smell were salt and vinegar crisps sat in front of him. a warm feeling crept its way into his body as he realised that for the only time in his life someone had cared enough to cater for him and his friends needs, he'd heard the horror stories from Tobys visits and despite having sensory issues himself that caused insignificant issues the fact Phil had gone out of his way to retain information gained 2 sessions ago and applied that to make the situation easier made him feel more loved than he could ever remember feeling.