Infinity Ring (Legolas Love Story)

Bonus: A Human Heart (Part 7)

My eyes blurred from my tears that I failed to notice what happened as I slipped out of Elladan's grip and reduced to a sitting mess heap on the ground. All I know was that my knees felt weak, my spirit was broken, and an ancient loneliness returned with such force– another intent to devastate me further.

I knew it. I was selfish. I was an ungrateful human being–that, if I was still in fact, even human. I hurt those I love the most; pushed my husband away–one whose love never falter and affection I did not deserve. My poor children, who I avoided at all cost in defense of my own self righteousness–thinking that I was protecting them.

I know I was weak. I was evil. And they know that. But it won't change the fact that I was still their mother, and they'd still need me. But what have I done? I've pushed them away. I left them alone.

My shoulders sagged as cry of anguish shook me to the bone. I thought… I can't go on anymore. I didn't have the strength anymore. With the many sins that I carried, both from my past and this life–

God. Dan was right. I was going to die, and along with me, I would drag those that I loved and feed them the fruit of my transgressions.

With that, I realized that there would be no religion that could save me. Not God, not Eru, nor whatever kind of resting place you can think of that would accept me. Not in heaven, not in the Halls of Mandos.

A familiar touch–loving and understanding–caressed the side of my cheek. Through the well of my eyes, I saw a silhouette of a beautiful ellon with long, silky blond hair that looked as if its strands were made of the fibre of sun itself.

He was after all, my sunshine.

Aur nin, I spoke inwardly.

As I blinked my tears away, his gentle expression told me that he heard me, and that soft smile stole my heart all over again. It soothed me that I was the cause of that smile; but it also broke me that I was also the culprit of the absent of light in his eyes.

The easiness and light that used to hide behind his icy blue eyes seemed to fade completely. Instead, lurked behind those mesmerizing eyes were sadness, waiting to be discovered by those who knows how to read him. My pain was his pain; and again, I hated myself for making him suffer for my sins.

"Are you alright, meleth nin?" he asked worriedly. I was too busy trying to uncover everything in his eyes that I have been avoiding all these weeks, that I failed to answer him. "Can you stand?"

There was electricity from his touch as he put one hand behind my lower back and other hand beneath my arm as he steadied me back on my feet.

Say something, love.

But I was lost in his eyes; I'd tell him that I'm fine, but I'd be lying, and in that realization, I figured that there was nothing more I'd like than to be alone with him.

And rest.

Your wish is my command, he replied with a weak hint of teasing in my mind. He flashed me his playful smirk; but I know in my heart that it was also a facade. That the truth was, he was also nursing another kind of pain–one that I caused.

And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to return his smile. Through our bond I felt his disappointment and worry–then anger.

The softness in his eyes was gone momentarily as he pried his gaze from me–to shot Elladan a threatening glare.

Immediately I felt how angry Legolas was; and for a split second he entertained the idea of punching the eldest son of Elrond, or even planting two arrows on his face. But Legolas' focus was quick to shift to me, and just as quick as the revengeful thought came, it was gone.