Icarus

Chapter 11

(TW: Yelling, subtle talk of self injury)

The lanterns hung in the air like falling stars. Dusk had fallen sending dark violets and rose pinks streaking through the sky. The clouds moved lazily  across the the pallet, reflecting the pastel colors.

"You okay?" Ranboo asked, coming up to Tubbo.

He sat silently on the bench by Tommys house, underneath the oak tree. His eyes were glazed slightly in a somber zone out. Ranboo sat beside him, wrapping his tail over his legs and fiddling nervously with the fur. Tubbo didn't move.

"Hey," Ranboo nudged his friends shoulder slightly. "Tubbo?"

"Oh," Tubbo jumped, coming back to reality. "Hey Ranboo. What are you doing here?"

"How are you?" He repeated the question, continuing to fiddle with the fuzz on his tail.

A sad sigh came from Tubbo. "What do you think Tommy's doing? You think he's okay?"

Ranboo paused, his heart skipping a beat. Tommy's with Techno, Techno is L'manburgs enemy, helping the enemy is treason. He didn't know how to respond without incriminating himself. He didn't particularly like the position he had managed to cram himself in.

"I don't know," he muttered. "He's probably okay."

Tubbo scoffed. "Yeah, 'okay.'"

Ranboo looked away, ears laying flat slightly. His tail twitched as he shifted.

"Sorry, I'm just tired," Tubbo said, rubbing his face. "Dream just...he said that Tommy was dangerous. He had gone...mad. I'm just worried is all."

Ranboo's multicolored eyes shifted towards the shorter. "He said what?"

Tubbo looked up at him. "He said that Tommy had become deranged. He had become bitter and cold and he didn't want anyone to get hurt around him."

"Oh."

"What do you mean? You don't believe him?"

Ranboo was quiet for a second, pondering on his answer. "I know the history of L'manburg. Dream also forced you into exiling Tommy. I wouldn't put my trust in him."

"What am I suppose to do Ranboo? I'm running a government that is always on a constant attack. And even when it's not, theres always some scheme to get rid or take care of something."

Ranboo watched the sun slowly descend. "I think that time will tell. Right now is kinda bad. But who knows what the future holds."

                                                                                                   *

"We need to destroy L'manburg," Techno said, sitting on the winged chair in his house.

Tommy was sprawled across the sofa and Phil was settled at the table. Phil looked up at Technos statement, interested in the next.

"We don't need to destroy it," Tommy said, crossing his arms. "We nee-"

"No I agree with Techno," Phil interjected. "L'manburg needs to go. It's corrupted Tommy."

Tommy's head whipped towards Phil. "And you think that's the only problem?! L'manburg goes down and the servers fine?! Your son was the corruption! He went made and destroyed everything! And Techno's no different! If-"

"STOP," Tommy flinched at the commanding voice. "We can't focus on the 'if's' Tommy," Phil said, shifting in his seat to face him. "You do that and it'll dys-"

"I know!" Tommy snapped back. "You don't think I do! You think I spent a month in exile with Dream as the only one to keep me company not thinking of how to destroying my self? And what did destroy me?" Tommy was just ranting now. He was tired of everyone talking over him. Thinking him as the younger less experienced. 

"Even Ghostbur left me! I was alone. And what do I get?! Dream attacking me because I didn't want to give up the last thing that I found comfort in! Getting ******* lava in my eyes because no one ******* cared. No one gave a **** about me! And the only time they actually ******* did was when I WAS ******* BLINDED!"

Tears had started to stream down his face. He was confused and sad and hurt. But most of all, angry. Angry at Dream, at Tubbo, at Phil, at Techno. Everyone. Every single person. He was angry.

Phil looked at Techno. They hadn't known what had happened in exile. Although Phil had theories, he hadn't known they were true.

"and now you want to destroy the only thing I actually have left that I can salvage." Tommy said quietly.

"Tommy," Techno said softly. He wasn't used to emotional explosions. "Why do you want to go back to the people that exiled you?"

"Because they didn't. Dream did. He has every thing in the palm of his hand and no one knows it. The only reason I was exiled, was because Dream had a say."

"If they actually cared...they would've fought for you." Techno sat back. He understood betrayal. And he understood denial of said betrayal.

Tommy slid down the sofa, trying to disappear into the cushions. "I am not going to destroy my home."

Techno nodded. He probably shouldn't push the kid anymore. It was obvious he was set in his decision at the moment. And it was apparent that he had gone through more than he was initially letting on.

Tommy was more confused than ever. It was true that they had abandoned him, but Dream had control over that. And Quackity and Fundy were going to fight for him. But Tubbo...Tubbo rejected it. He said he would, then turned on his heal at the last minuet. Left him to fend for himself.

Maybe...just maybe Techno and Phil was right. Maybe...but surly not. He didn't want his home destroyed. He didn't want to do this anymore. He was tired of war and destruction. Why couldn't it be the old days? Why couldn't it be simple.

"You don't have to Tommy," Phil said. "You won't have to."

                                                                                                    *

It was cold. It was always cold. A glitched reality of black and white. He had forgotten what color looked like. It hadn't even been that long. Everything in his dreams were dulled and devoid of life. Maybe the color wasn't gone. You could still see the grey toned greens and yellows of the landscape.

He was sitting on the roof of his house, back in Logstedshire. The stars pulsing a glowing white in the inky black sky. Ghostbur wasn't there. Neither was Dream. He was alone. Alone in the soft, cold clutches of his own mind.

He closed his eyes.

The soft swish of the sea greeted him as they opened. He sat crisscrossed on the sand. His clothes had been replaced with an eerie white shirt and loose pants. His back felt heavy. Like some wight had been strapped to him. It was a comfortable wight though. He knew what it was.

Shifting slightly, he ruffled his wings. They were a new constant in his dreams. He didn't mind. He liked flying. Liked how the sun felt when he got close. It was comforting. When he did fly, he hoped his dream would never end.

But it was night. He didn't feel like flying. He wrapped his wings around himself as a chill ran through his body. It was always cold at night. His wings didn't help. He got colder and colder. Shivering until his body couldn't anymore. He was exhausted. He curled up on the soft sand, tightening his wings around himself.

Maybe everything would go away.