The Last Knight

Ch. 18: Supreme Leader Snoke

Warnings: smut (I mean, at this point it's inevitable), violence, anddddddd I don't want to give anything away but let's just say you should emotionally prepare yourself. 

You jolted awake when the back of Kylo's hand connected with your cheek in a loud smack. It was pitch back in the bedroom and Kylo was thrashing in his sleep, muttering something unintelligible. You thought you could make out the word Rey.

You sat up slowly, rubbing your face and trying to get your bearings. You debated waking him up, slightly afraid that he may attack you like he had done before.

You didn't have to decide though, because a second later he was screaming, gasping for air before startling awake and gripping the sheets with white knuckles. You waited a few breaths before slowly reaching out to him and putting a hand on his bare shoulder. He didn't pull away, just put his head in his hands and shuddered. In the dim light, you stared at his dark waves falling over his thin fingers. It made you nervous to see him like this--clammy and pale. A side to Kylo Ren that very few, if anyone, ever got to see.

"Are you-" You started, but he turned around and gripped your hand tightly, cutting you off.

"Come here." He didn't wait for you to move before he scooped you into his lap, cradling you to his chest. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed your cheek to his shoulder. You sat there in silence until his breathing slowed and you felt his heartbeat return to its normal pace.

"Kylo-" You knew you were pushing your luck—you'd never really tried to talk to him about the things that haunted him. You'd couldn't help but feel that you were missing part of a bigger picture though, and that Rey had something to do with all of this. She must have said something to him in the kitchen that really affected him, something he couldn't just brush off. Sure, his family was one thing, but for someone new to come in and take this big of a toll...

"Stop," He murmured into the crook of your neck.

"But-"

"No." He cut you off again, gently but firmly resting his thumb on your lips. "I don't want to talk. I need--distraction."

A beat of silence. You squinted at him in the darkness, noticing how his eyes had become glassy.

"Please." He said. It was the desperation in his voice that almost had your eyes welling with tears. You slid your hand out from around him and rested it lightly on his cheek, brushing a strand of hair out of the way before meeting his lips with your own.

He kissed you slowly, almost hesitantly, and you supposed his mind was still somewhere far away.

An annoying thought prodded your consciousness as you silently willed him to focus back on you. To let you be his distraction. What would Iyra say about you now? In bed with the man trying to rule all the galaxy, the man plagued by dark thoughts and haunted by tragic memories, and yet you were almost desperate to be let in. At this point, the thought of not being here next to him scared you. You were starting to need him, and you were the girl who had never needed anyone. What would she think about the fact that you were starting to need a monster? A murderer?

The thought actually made you feel sick. That couldn't be true.

You would never need anyone.

The only reason that that thought had even crossed your mind was because it was late and you were tired.

You threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled, as if trying to physically drag him out of his thoughts. And to will yourself to get out of your own head as well.

Seeming to understand your plea, Kylo kissed you harder, teeth grazing your bottom lip before he made his way to your neck, biting your skin roughly. You moaned, your worries suddenly smothered by the way your body seemed to burn for him. No matter the circumstance or time of day.