Dear Katie (BoyxBoy)

38

Dear Katie,

I wish I didn’t do what I did that night. The night I let Luca breakdown. Because now, well… we’re not okay. There’s a tension between us. A cold sheet of awkwardness and repressed feelings.

I’d look at him and stare, and he would pretend he didn’t notice it. Our fingers would brush for a second while I handed him his machete and he would retrieve his hand as if he was burned by my skin. I would’ve laughed at us, acting like children while stuck together in a damned apocalypse, but laughing would mean this is funny, but it isn’t.

After that night, he didn’t snuggle close to me anymore. And so I shiver every night, because of the cold air of the environment and the loss of comfort that I somehow seek.

I hate him for letting this happen. I hate myself for letting this happen. All we needed to do is to keep on avoiding it, to not acknowledge what we’re doing, and fool ourselves that we needed each other every night to survive. But instead we’re both lonely and miserable.