Chapter Six: Ludus Fight

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Connor

I heard Caspian entering the ludus before I could see him, so I quickly put away the piece of paper I had been staring at ever since I woke up this morning. Folded in half, I kept it in a narrow crack in the stone wall of my room. This was the first time I ever touched papyrus or even looked at a drawing made on it. I knew what drawings were, but I never held one or saw one up close. Now I had one that was mine and even though it came from one of those loathsome humans, the ones I hated so much, it felt like I had gained myself a treasure.

"Dinner party tonight," Caspian announced as he halted before my door.

I stood up and walked to the iron bars to meet him, hanging my head low and pretending to be a good obedient little Lycan and not slay him right here and there, which took every ounce of willpower I had inside of me. Every day, every time, pretending was hard: I wasn't born to be submissive, and especially not to a foul being like Caspian.

He held his hand up, offering me one of the familiar vials, but when I reached my hand through the bars, he pulled his away just before I was able to hold onto it. He did this every time, and it was just so pathetic. The worst part was that I had to play along with it, feigning I was all desperate for it.

No...that wasn't true, that wasn't the worst part.

The absolute most terrible part was that I remembered how desperate I really had been for it. How I'd kissed his feet when he asked me too, just to gain that little bottle. Thinking back about it made me sick: it was just so belittling and so disgusting. And the fact that my brothers were still trapped in that position was just as bad. It wasn't their fault, though, I knew that.

When Caspian started chuckling after my second attempt to grab the vial, I almost grabbed his ugly face and smacked it against the bars, just to wipe that smile from his face. But I couldn't, for I needed to stay strong. I had to endure this all a little longer, how hard that may be. And then, when the time would finally come for my revenge, I would gladly end this man's life.

I fantasized every day how I would finish him in the most pathetic way that was possible. A pathetic ending for a pathetic man, because that's what he deserved. I shall rip his cock off and stuff it in his mouth, letting him gag on his own manhood while he bled to death. I bet that would stop him from feeling like he was some kind of God. I bet that would wipe the grin off his face.

"Instead of just getting it, you can earn it, lazy dog. But if you disappoint the master, you will not get any. You'll receive flogging instead. Do you hear me, you filthy beast?"

I clenched the muscles in my jaw. My hands grasped the iron bars so tightly they started to hurt while I looked into his vicious light blue eyes. They say eyes are the mirrors of our souls and that was a phrase that suited Caspian perfectly. His eyes were evil-looking. When I looked into Darius's eyes, I could see the disgust in them, but at least I have seen other emotions in them when he looked at a loved one. But with Caspian, I had never seen that. He truly was a cruel demon. I nodded at him, biting my own tongue so hard I could taste the iron flavor of blood.

***

We trained all day and I had to be honest, there was a certain desire inside of me to get to that dinner party as soon as possible. I didn't know why. Maybe I just wanted time to travel fast, so that the month would soon be over and the next full moon would come quickly. I could feel myself starting to become stronger every day.

The loud sound of a horn caught my ears. It was almost time for me and my brothers to enter the arena. During dinner parties, we only fought against each other, so the fights were quite simple, in contrast to larger battles that were held in the big amphitheater of the city where we battled against Lycans that served other lanistas. Those fights were often till the death. I hated those because I never liked to kill another Lycan, even if he was my enemy in the ring. We were with so little left: it was a waste.

We all got naked and turned into beasts. Shifting was a process that didn't take long but it was painful. Going from this form to my wolf form meant that my body would get a whole new shape. Bones had to be broken and fixed again, fingernails were ripped out and were replaced with long claws, and skin was torn when fur grew through it. And all that in a matter of seconds.

Now the moon was full, we were a little better at handling it, though. Not only did we feel more powerful during a full moon, but the shifting was better to handle too. We didn't know why that was, but all Lycans think it has something to do with the energy of the moon.

Done with shifting, I growled. It was a way to tell the others to follow me. Being in our wolf form meant that we couldn't speak actual words. It wasn't a problem, though, because we didn't need them to understand each other. We could speak through body language, something I didn't mind at all.

Entering the training arena of the ludus, the first person I saw was Darius, the second one was his niece, Mila, the one that had visited me last night. She looked at me with an emotion that was hard to read, and I was almost bummed out that I couldn't hear her heartbeat amongst all others', which was so strange. It wasn't strange I couldn't recognize her drum between the dozens of other heartbeats, but it was strange that I seemed to find it a pity.

The sound of Caspian's whip hitting the sand snapped me out of it. It was time to give the humans what they came for. A show. He yelled the names of the first two Lycans to fight. Boris and Noir were the first to fight; they were also the weakest ones.

The rest of us waited backstage, guarded by a couple of Caspian's men.

A few other Lycans fought the second and third rounds until Rhett and I were the ones to fight the final match.

I called all of them my brothers, but Rhett was my only real blood brother. He was a few years younger than I was and a gentle being. I loved him with all my heart, but that didn't mean that I was gonna let him win over me.

He softly growled at me, brushing his head against my chest before we walked on stage, telling me to have a good fight.

When we stood on the sand, and Caspian had ordered us to start, Rhett immediately attacked me. We crashed against each other with full force, and he was able to scratch my stomach with one of his long nails. He has always been good with his hands, but his footwork was still mediocre. I often told him that he should pay more attention to it, but he still was weak at it. I was always scared that it was going to be his downfall in a real match. I don't think I would be able to live without him in this hellhole that was my current life.

After some wrestling, I kicked his shins until he fell to the ground, where I pressed my foot against his neck. I was the winner and let my roar echo through the arena. I looked down at the stinging pain in my stomach and saw blood dripping down my abs. That little booger managed to do some real damage to me. It made me proud.

Darius's guests were cheering, happy to see some violence, and they stood up, calling out that I should finish off my opponent. This was the part where Darius would tell them that we were his precious belongings and we had been good beasts and therefore we were free to leave since the guests had gotten their pleasure, but...he didn't say that. Instead, for the first time ever during an unofficial match, he listened to his guests and ordered me to kill my brother.

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