When I finally get home with groceries around three in the afternoon, Jessica is sitting in the living room of our small apartment.
"I've been waiting since noon. I was so worried. You should have told me you were on your way or something to keep me from freaking out." She says in the voice I imagine a mother might have if her teenager came home at three in the morning.
"I'm sorry. It's just that Patrick is just so.... amazing..." I say enchanted by the sweet taste of saying his name.
"Who the hell is Patrick? Is that the guy you left with last night? Never mind, it doesn't matter. I heard he is married. Don't wanna go spending all your time with him now do ya? ...Didn't think so. Help me put these groceries away." She says in the stern voice of a father who is disapointed with his child.
After I put everything away I go to my room to sit and wonder about what it might be like to have parents. Real parents, that take care of you, and hug and kiss you, and get disapointed in you sometimes, but love you anyway. All I got was the crappy kind that treated me like all I am is a bottle of cheap rum and a broken condom. That's probably not far from the truth though. My parents were both always drunk and arguing, so I never really got taken care of. They always ended up passing out by 7 every night though so I was the only mistake in the house.
When I was 16 almost 17 they were both arrested for abuse of oxycotton and xanax. I don't know where they are now. I was drug tested and came out clean. I was emancipated a couple weeks later and now, years later, I live with Jessica. She is my best friend, or rather my only friend. I get the same abuse from her as I did from my parents. She always talks down to me and treats me like a kid, but it's alright. I'm used to it.
I'm doing pretty well at holding back on crying until I remember something that opens the flood gates and soaks my face in tears. She said Patrick is married. I decide to go take a shower to wash away the filth i feel for letting him cheat on his wife with me. When I get undressed, I find a piece of paper taped to the inside of my bra.... what? How did I not notice that earlier? I open it and it has a phone number, Patrick's name, and a heart written on it. I get into the shower and contemplate weather or not to call the number.
When I get out of the shower, I feel a little better and I am ready to call him. He picks up on the forth ring.
"Hello?" he mutters quietly
"Hey, Patrick? This is Marisa." I say trying not to let Jessica hear me.
"Oh yeah. Hey. What's up?"
"So I know this is an awkward question but, are you married? I heard that you were. If you are, I'm sorry we're not going to work out. I don't like cheaters." I say hoping for the best. He is quiet for a second and I hear a door close and then several loud steps like he is stomping down stairs.
"No of corse not. I want to see you again. Come to the bar again tomorrow so we can talk some more. Can we get a hotel though? I don't want to come back here. It's kind of awkward being at my house and all. So yeah I gotta go now... I have... uh... worik. Bye." He hangs up. I am suspicious, but I go with it anyway.
