Jealousy looks good on you- John Murphy x reader

Chapter VII.

Notes: TY for the support!<3 Views go brrr

She smells like lavender.

You take a deep breath as you inhale Raven's soothing scent. You are warm, still curled up in her arms. You've been sitting for a while, and you have been enjoying her company. Although you do wish that you could have a bit of time to yourself to think. You shift your weight so that you aren't leaning against her anymore, and turn to face her.

"Hey, if you don't mind, can I have a bit of time to myself?" you ask.

"Of course." Raven stretches briefly and then stands up.

"It's nothing against you, I promise," you add.

Raven smiles and lets out a little chuckle. "Oh, I know."

She puts up a hand to bid you farewell and steps out of the room. You lean your head up and look out the window once again. You could never get sick of the view. Slowly, you start to nod off. Damn, having emotions is tiring, you think. You close your eyes and let the darkness envelop you. You are so tired.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Footsteps. Your eyes shoot open as you hear someone coming down the hallway. You take a moment to readjust your position and take a deep sigh. You aren't sure how long you've been asleep, but you still feel drowsy. The footsteps get louder as the unknown person approaches where you are seated. You look down the hall, awaiting their arrival. Finally, Murphy steps out into view. He looks over at you, seemingly surprised to see you there even after all these times. You catch his gaze and give him a nonchalant look. You don't dare to give him the satisfaction of seeing you sad over him. You are more jealous than sad at this point, anyways. Then the footsteps seem to change directions. As you look back at him, you think you catch a smirk on his face which he quickly replaces with a straight face. Maybe you are just seeing things; it wouldn't be the first time. Nevertheless, nothing of that changes the fact that Murphy is now coming towards you. You know that he definitely wasn't headed here before, but now he is.

You look at him, clearly uneasy with what's going on. He sits opposite you, resting his arm on his knee. He looks around, seemingly casual given the situation. The two of you sit in silence for a bit. Finally, you speak up.

"What?" You look at him, annoyed.

This startles him, and his head swivels to look at you. Your eyes meet, and he looks confused.

"What?" he questions.

"Why are you here?" You just wanted time alone.

"Do I need to have a reason to sit here?"

He's playing the dumb card. Awesome.

"No, but you saw me here first and then decided to come to sit here."

"How do you know that? Maybe I was headed here in the first place." He shrugs, playing off your accusation.

You groan and roll your eyes, looking away. Again, you recognize a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. What the hell is that?

"So, what brought you here?" Murphy inquires.

You take a deep breath. "Well, I intended to spend time alone, but obviously that didn't turn out." You cross your arms and huff.

"What, you're not happy to see me?" Murphy teases.

You're too fed up to even sarcastically laugh like you normally would. Instead, you give him a clearly pissed-off side glance. He raises his eyebrows at you in surprise. Apparently, he thought that you were on okay terms. You're glad he knows differently now. He blinks a couple of times, looking away. Deep down, you really want to tell him how you feel and ask him what is going on, but your conscience says differently. You need to be strong and show him that he doesn't affect you. He doesn't deserve that satisfaction.

After a bit of silence, Murphy scoots over to come and sit next to you. You lean the other way, astonished. Did you not make it crystal clear enough that you wanted to be left alone? Does he not realize that you are fed up? He then looks you in the eyes, giving you a sympathetic expression almost like puppy-eyes: given that Murphy is incapable of puppy eyes. Your heart almost palpitates, he looks more adorable than you thought possible for Murphy. You can feel that he understands you're in pain, even though you were sure you showed no such signs of weakness. So much for hating him.

"Can I hug you?" Murphy suddenly questions.

"...What?" You look at him in disbelief.

"You- you just looked like something was wrong. And so I thought you could use a hug."

You blink at him for a moment, still shocked. Is this the Murphy I know? What kind of impostor has taken his place? He is either completely clueless or he is doing this on purpose. Either way, your heart takes advantage of the situation before your brain can. You nod, your heart instinctively accepting his offer. He then reaches out, pulling you into a warm embrace. You go stiff at first, as your brain catches up to your heart's response. Then, you actually realize that is going on. Murphy is hugging you. Like skin-on-skin contact hugging you. I don't care about hating him right now, you think, I really want this damn hug. You then relax, releasing the tension from your muscles. You rest your head on Murphy's shoulder, returning the embrace. You close your eyes and just breathe for a minute. You hate how calming this is. You hate how your grudges bend in certain situations. You know that you will have to put up your wall again after this, but you don't care. This moment is all that matters to you right now.

After a few moments, Murphy pulls away and rests his hand on your arm for a second.

"I understand that you probably don't want to tell me what's bothering you. But I'm here if you ever do."

You are glad that he understands. But oh, how you wish you could tell him how you feel.

"Thank you," You whisper.

Still sitting next to you, Murphy nods. He leans his head against the wall and gazes out the window. You do the same, watching the stars glow. You can feel your softness towards him starts to fade, being replaced by heartbreak and jealousy once again. You just wish that he would not play around with your feelings. At this point, you don't even care if he used you as a stepping stool to get to Emori. You just want answers, even if they hurt.