Choices

Forever

The place felt quiet, too quiet compared to the erratic beating of his heart and the loud pounding in his head that made it impossible for him to form a single rational thought. Setting foot on the untrimmed grass he bent down slightly, hands on his knees as he drew in quick breaths hoping it insatiate his lungs. Mark looked up to see the familiar glass panes that still held scratches from the last time he was there taking in another deep breath to stabilize himself.

-

The days seemed to go by excruciating slow and extremely fast at the same time as Donghyuck tried his best not to think about anything or anyone, which was harder than he had expected as his mind wandered off to a certain brunette who was the last person he wanted to think about at that moment. He's pretty sure he's been on his bed for so long soon enough its going to suck him in. His parents had no idea why his mood had suddenly hit rock bottom and why the only thing he wanted to do was stay curled up in his bed but they were too afraid to ask and so was Dae hee who had tried to go into her brothers' room to comfort him and come out needing to be comforted herself. It was most probably the first time she had been yelled at by him with that much seriousness, safe to say she didn't dare go back in there. Donghyuck felt awful for getting mad at his sister when she only wanted the best for him but he couldn't find it in himself to apologize or even leave his room for longer than 2 minutes before retreating to the comfort of his bed.

He spent the last hour and half looking at his ceiling, his mind wandering to the most meaningless of things, his phone was somewhere in his room but he hadn't bothered to look at it for the last few days. He didn't want to see the countless texts from his friends asking him how he was or worse the ones Mark and Jaemin had sent. Donghyuck rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands when a faint sound of something hitting glass echoed through his room barely audible over the loud talking of the rest of his family who were still downstairs. He looked towards his left one hand still on his face as he watched a small rock or maybe a pebble, he couldn't quite tell fly towards the glass panes in his balcony. Watching the familiar site made something in his stomach churn hoping with half a heart it wasn't the person he thought it was.

Donghyuck got up from his bed cursing slightly at the contact between his bare feet and the cold floor. He rushed towards the glass doors sliding it open just in time for another one of the small stones to make its way just above his head going into his room and landing just a few feet away from his bed. He could hear the small stones falling on the ground as he made his way to the edge of the balcony looking down to see a very disheveled looking Mark downstairs, his hands covered with dirt which he tried to get rid of by wiping his hands on his lower torso.

"Hey" Mark called out his voice softer than either of them had anticipated his eyes found Mark's and even though his still sleepy brain had alarms blaring in it he couldn't quite get himself to look away or not acknowledge the Canadian's existence as he had hoped he would. After a good few second of silence a small "hey" fell out of his lips, his fists curling by his side to provide some sort of composure.
"Look" Mark rubbed his hands together trying to get rid of the non-existent dirt on it as his eyes left the younger boys, focusing on keeping himself calm "I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now"

"Second last"

"What?" Mark stumbled over his words as the words echoed through his head, pausing in confusion his eyes drifted up to find Donghyuck's once again.

"What are you doing here?" The words fell out of his lips softer than Mark had anticipated, he expected to be met with anger and yelling but looking up at the younger boy all he could see was sadness brimming in his eyes. He should be happy that Donghyuck wasn't pissed at him, but the longer he looked at him the more he could feel his heart break just a little bit more.

"I fucked up okay? I hurt you I acknowledge that but you hurt me too" looking at the Donghyuck's blank expression only made his heart break further, did this not affect him as much as it affected Mark or was, he just better at hiding his feelings? He hopes it's the latter or wishes it is. He watches as Donghyuck slowly nods his head, the gesture almost going unnoticeable.

"I know the best thing for me to do right now would be to walk away, to just forget about you and hope I never see you ever again. But I don't think I could live a life you're not a part of." At this point Donghyuck's face was almost a blur as he tried his hardest to compose himself before interrupting whatever Donghyuck was going to say.

"Let me finish" Mark said the words seeming more like a question than a statement.

"I wish I could walk away; I wish I could hate you but I can't. Trust me when I say this it was never just a dare to me. Under different circumstances, in a m-maybe less homophobic house I might have realized much before that I've loved you since before I- since before I even knew what love was. You know all those times when I picked on you as kids, I didn't do that cause I hated you. I know it sounds horrible but I did that because I couldn't come to terms with the fact that.... that I love you."

"So, I don't care if it hurts, I'll deal with it. J-just.... Just give me another chance." Mark finally looked up from the spot on the ground that he had been staring for a good few minutes only to find the place the other boy was standing a few moments empty. A strange dread started to settle in his chest as he stared at the spot where Donghyuck had been standing hoping he would come back out; this is not how he wanted all of this to end. He clutched his already creased t-shirt trying to stop his hands from shaking as everything blurred into the background, a wave of numbness washing over him.

Mark felt a small tug on his chin as his face was brought up to match the others height, the only words he heard were a whispered "You cliché bitch" before he felt a pair of warm lips on his. His eyes shot wide open as his brain caught up to speed with the situation, his body already melting into the familiar touch of the boy he thought he hated for so long. His hand finding its way into Haechan's- correction his Haechan's locks as they always did. The kiss felt like no other, it was sweet, warm, needy and desperate all at once and he would not want to be anywhere else in the world as he felt the shorter boy's tongue eagerly push its way into his mouth, making the already present butterflies in his stomach to go erratic.

His eyes found its way into the shining orbs of the younger boy as the arms that had been caressing his face slipped down to his neck to envelope him in a loose hug. His hand continued its previous activity, caressing the back of Haechan's head softly as the smell of something similar to coconut filled his senses. The arms around him tightened as they both stayed that way neither saying a word, it didn't matter to them talking's overrated anyways. Being this close to him felt right, it felt like everything he had wanted. If he could wish for anything he'd wish to stay this way for hours or days until he was content with it, to just take a photograph of them and live in it forever.

THE END

A/N: After about a whole year I cant believe I finally finished this fanfic, its been amazing writing it and reading everyones comments who enjoyed it. I'm grateful for all of the love i've received for this fic and thank you to everyone who stuck around its been one hell of a journey.

-Love pennilesspiere