Unshed Tears

Good News

Am nervous. Same like at the time I published my other book's 1st chapter.

Hope you will like it.

Happy Reading.

Main Lead's POV.

The chanting of the priest is echoing in the lonely and calm atmosphere. The morning breeze is fanning my face so softly like Maa is caressing my face.

I stood by the lake with my hands folded as my younger brother is performing the first memorial rites of my Mom's. It's still like it was yesterday we admitted mom in hospital after she had met with with the accident and she talked to me on the deathbed.

His back is facing me, which is covered with a plain white kanduva pairing with a plain dhoti as he is placing flowers on Mom's photo. Even though I can't see his face I can sense that he is on the verge of bursting into tears as his voice is crackling after uttering every word. Of course, one will feel like there is no tomorrow when they don't have their mother, who carried him for 9 months, bought him up for 15 years and left him suddenly.

I wish I had spent more time with her.

I was brought out from my thoughts when I saw my brother and the priest going to the lake to leave the rice balls (pindas) in the water. ( Pindas are balls of cooked rice and/or mixed with and black sesame seeds offered to ancestors during Hindu funeral rites). I hope and pray Mom is at peace where ever she is.

Finally, the ceremony got completed and the priest left soon after he received his fee. Nani sat on the grass near the lake, watching the sunrise. He is finally letting out the tears which he kept blocked all this while.

I sat beside him in silence as he continued to sob while his face turned all red. I placed my hand on his shoulder to soothe him as he poured his heart out.

"Will mom be happy if you cry like this? Huh?" I asked him softly and pacified him. To an extent, he is also like me, keeps things to himself, but faces the world with a big smile which I can't do.

I have learned to keep all my feelings and emotions in control as none cares. Even if some people care it's just sympathy for us and not understand us. And am tired of people's pity and sympathy.

There will be only a few moments when we would come out from the wall we built around ourselves and again go back to them unable to be truthful to oneself and others and unable to face reality.

He nodded his head at my question and closed his eyes to stop his tears. We sat there in silence for few more moments and decided to leave.

Finally, we reached our home. Though I don't think I have the right to call it our home and as mine because it solely belongs to Nani, but mom gave me that right and forced me to call it our and made me get adapted to it.

Nani restored mom's photo at its original spot as soon as we reached home. He kept staring at it for a while and I brought him out of his asking him to get freshen up to which he immediately obliged and went into his room.

Now it's my turn to stare at Mom's photo. She is smiling vibrantly in the photo and God has taken it away before taking her life. Actually, he had taken that happiness from me, Nani, mom, and maa too. We just get some materialistic happiness, which doesn't stay for a long time.

"I miss you too mom," I muttered slowly to myself so that even the walls couldn't hear what I am saying. I forced a small smile on my face and touched her photo and took her blessings and went into the kitchen to make some food for us as we didn't eat anything and to divert myself.

I simply toasted few bread slices for us and waited for him to come while chopping potatoes to make lunch. In past one year I learnt how to cook so that we could eat something it is good or bad, home food is better than relying on orders. I failed terribly in my initial attempts and then with help from Nani and youtube learnt something to feed our stomachs.