"Maa don't leave me ever?" asked six year old boy, lying in his mother's embrace.
"Where would I go leaving you kanha? Maa will never leave you," assured his Maa and tapping his head and making him sleep.
"Promise?" again asked the boy innocently...
"We will not take him with us," declared my maternal uncle's wife.
It was the situation going on for the past one month in my grandparents' home. Well, where can I go when no one wants me. I was a burden to everyone. No one cares for me.
Even now, it is not like the aunt is talking slowly or behind my back. They were yelling at each other in the study room. My grandfather and grandmother were present too. They were listening, negotiating some deals, and trying their best to send me with them. For the so-called, betterment of my life.
But they were not budging in. Not my aunt. She thinks I would be a bad influence on her children. I wonder what happened she came to our home last time and stuck to my Maa like gum on her feet.
And I know my future. I will be staying with my grandparents or will go to any hostel. If I had the chance I would choose the latter one. But my hope got shattered when plans got changed.
"Keep him with you as safety. You need him and he needs you. That would be good for now."
My Uncle suggested and after pondering for some time everyone agreed. Well, I never had any choice to agree or disagree.
And I don't know what happened to my late father's family. I never saw them after that. The only thing I heard about them is that even they didn't want to take me in. That was a thing for which I am grateful.
I am in my room, lying on my bed and trying my best to ignore their words. The words are avoidable, but not the thoughts of what happened in the last few months.
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It's been two months since I last saw them near the court. I wonder where their obsession with having a 'male' grandson disappeared to.
And it's been a month since I last saw my maa. I begged my grandfather and uncle to take me to her immediately after she was taken to jail, but they didn't take me. They only used say one thing, 'It's not the time.'
I tried my best to wait. To develop patience, but I just couldn't. I became more and more vulnerable with each passing day. Even though people were there around me I felt I have none. I don't want anyone except my Maa.
And one day I became inconsolable. I refused to eat, drink anything and even see anyone. I locked up myself in my room and refused to open the door until they will take me to her. I paid no heed to their negotiations with me. I want to meet my maa and I would do anything to make it happen.
Finally, my will was granted and I was taken to meet her, in jail. It took us another day to reach the prison from the village and all the while I remained silent with only one thought in my mind.
"Kanha," came the whisper which I was yearning for. The moment my eyes met with the opposite teary eyes, I rushed from my place and hugged my maa.
She stumbled back because of my sudden attack. I instantly backed a step and saw her getting herself steady. She looked weak. Very weak. Her hair is all dishevelled, dark circles under her eyes, and most importantly, no life in her eyes. Though she tried to smile seeing me it failed miserably.
"Maa...." I started wanting to say many things, all the complaints, all the discomforts I faced, but nothing came out of my mouth.
"You shouldn't have come here. It's not a place for you," said my maa looking at me. I lowered my head and shook my head. Maybe, I know that I should not be here, but then why my maa is here?
"I don't want you to be here too," I choked and continued, "I want to be with you."
"Kanha.... You know I deserve this. Had I not done such thing......" she broke into tears remembering the last few months and how her one action has turned all her loved ones' lives upside down.
She wiped her tears and said, "Listen, son. Don't come for me here. You should not be here and as for me, it's my fault. And I will bear my punishment. You have to be strong and brave. Don't let any negative influence get in you."
Placing her hand on my chest she continued, "You have me here. I will always be there and I will always support you. The only reason why I am still living is for you. So promise me that you will study well, live a righteous life, and will never be like your father. Ok?"
Tears blurred my vision, but I could clearly see the pain in my maa's face. I slowly nodded my head in agreement as there is no much option left by my side. I know my grandparents can't bring me whenever I want and most importantly I can't see my maa pain and hurt more. She is sad that I have to see her in such a position. And I will not give her another reason to be sad.
Content with my response, she smiled painfully and placed a kiss on my forehead.
Suddenly, I felt my head heavy and the surroundings getting black. And before I know anything, I passed out in my maa's embrace.
*****
The two-day hunger strike has affected me pretty bad. My maa was furious when she came to know what it cost me to meet her. My grandparents told them everything I did and my maa kept on cursing herself for being a bad mother.
I wish I was present with her then, but I was kept in hospital and had heard this from my grandparents. Then my grandparents assured me that they will take good care of me and will get my maa out of jail soon through bail.
That bought a sense of relief over me and I assured them that I will obey their commands and will not be a trouble for them again. Though I am not sure how long I can bear with these UNHEALED SCARS before bursting open again.
I sighed and curled up myself even more on the bed so as feel my own embrace and the warmth in it. I patted myself like my maa used to do for me whenever I felt gloomy.
But now I am worse than being gloomy. I am in utter desperation. I don't have any hope for tomorrow. Just like the lonely night, my life is very lonely. Unlike nature, where after every night the sun eventually rises, but not in my life.
And I don't know when there will come any ray of hope in my life.
Hello all.
I hope you still remember this book.
It took me long time to come back here and finish this chapter. It's a very complex story for me to write and now I am wondering whether I have done a mistake by visualising a plot like this.
But I have already started it and I will definitely finish it. That's for sure.
So, how is the chapter?
Did it make you feel the emotions? The characters pain?
And how is the plot going? Interesting?
Hope I am able to reach the expectations.
Hope I will be back with a new chapter soon in either of my new books.
