I'll Be Okay

12

Song lyrics I used are from Let Me Die by lil happy lil sad. Underrated singer but I would only suggest listening to him if you want to be depressed the rest of the day cause his songs are about how feels and they're really raw and sometimes relatable🧡

⚠Suicide mentions⚠

Zach walked downstairs to Corbyn eyeing him. He glanced at Jack nervously. Jack shook his head as he continued reading. Zach shrugged it off and sat down beside his boyfriend. "Can I have the milk please Corbs?" 

Corbyn didn't respond so I asked again. He must be angry at me. Jack rolled his eyes and snatched the milk from Corbyn. "Knock it off," he snapped before handing the carton to Zach. 

Jonah led Corbyn out of the room. "I don't know what your issue is but you need to stop. Zach went out to hang out with Mitchell. No funny business just two friends hanging out. When he was on his way home his dad found him and jumped him. Naturally Zach's upset. Whatever is bugging you isn't even the issue. He's not up to anything. He's traumatized. That's all." 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It's been a long several months," Corbyn sighed. 

The boys talked for nearly an hour when they heard singing coming from the studio. Corbyn got up and went into the studio to see Zach sitting with Daniel's guitar. "I got so much shit to say. Baby take me from this place. I just really cannot stay. Tears are falling down my face," he was singing. 

Corbyn leaned against the wall not wanting to interrupt. Zach had an incredible voice. He motioned Jack over knowing he would want to know how his boyfriend was really feeling. "I'm feeling lost and I don't know where else to go now..." he was still singing as he strummed the guitar. 

Jack desperately wanted to go hug Zach. Corbyn could tell. He needed to apologize first. "Z?" 

Zach looked up wide-eyed. "Yeah?" 

"I'm sorry for my attitude today. I made assumptions based on the past," Corbyn sighed. 

A small grin formed on Zach's face. "I get it. You're fine." 

"You have an amazing voice," Corbyn said gently. 

"Really?" Zach asked. 

Corbyn nodded. "I would love to hear more of them. But maybe a little more happy ones." 

Zach flipped through a small notebook. "I have this one." 

"Can we hear it?" Corbyn asked. 

Zach nodded and cleared his throat. "This one is actually for Jack." 

Jack stood up straight with a small smile. "I'd love to hear it." 

The other boys had come into the studio at this point and Zach felt a little nervous. "Coat laying on the floor. Long December nights are what I've been waiting for. Pull my hand close to the fire. Shivering I, shivering I can't stop, give me the look. You know the one I want, I been waiting for. It's so cold, it's so cold yeah. I got chills when you walk, chills when you talk. Chills every time you say my name it's the way that it feels when we touch, I can't get enough, love got me frozen in place, baby I got chills. Oh baby I got chills." 

When Zach had finished the song Jack approached him. "First of all you have the most incredible voice Z. Second, I love you so much and I love the song. It's beautiful. You wrote that?" 

Zach nodded as he hugged Jack. "A few months ago." 

"You know, you could be an amazing musician," Jonah said. 

Zach smiled slightly. "I wouldn't want to do it alone." 

Zach's phone rang and he pulled away from Jack. "I have to take this." 

He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. "Hey, Mitch. You got it?" 

"Yeah, but what do you need it for?" Mitchell replied. 

"I can't tell you. It's sort of an emergency," Zach replied. 

"With morphine?" Mitchell asked from the other end of the line. 

Zach sighed as he tried to think of a lie. "Jack's been in a lot of pain from an injury he got. This helps him." 

"Okay... well come and get it I guess," Mitchell sighed. "Titi will be here to give it to you. I have to go out for a while." 

Zach took a breath as he went back downstairs. He couldn't believe it had come to this, but it had to. He pushed past Jack and ran out the door. He got to Mitchell's house and met Titi at the door, who gave him the morphine in a bag. He headed towards the beach where he sat on the rocks, staring out at the water. He opened the bag and put it under the rocks. He opened the bottle and poured two pills into his hands. He took them, but before he could continue he heard a voice. He quickly stuffed the bottle into his hoodie pocket. "J?" 

Jack sat down beside him. "Z, what's wrong? You've clearly been putting on an act." 

Zach shrugged as he felt the medication numbing him. "I'm fine." 

"You're not," Jack said sadly and I can tell. "The song was beautiful and I know you meant everything in it. I can also tell when you're hurting. Corbyn and I heard you singing that first song." 

Zach stood up and Jack frowned. "Z, please." 

Zach took off running and Jack sighed. He noticed the brown bag and picked it up. He opened it up but it was empty. He saw erased pencil markings and looked closer. "Morphine? Zach?" It took him a moment before he realized what was going on. He pulled out his phone as he started running after his boyfriend who had made it pretty far by this point. He dialed Daniel's number as he hurried down the street. "I need help, Dani. I think Zach's going to try and kill himself." 

"What?" Daniel shouted on the other end of the line. "Where is he?" 

Jack looked around in a panic. "I don't know. I've lost him. I'm going to find him. I'll call you back." 

"I'm coming too. And sending the other boys. Try not to panic," Daniel stuttered. "Should we go home in case he's there?" 

"None of you are home?" Jack asked as he ran down the road. 

"Corbyn went shopping. I'm at the college and Jonah went to visit his sister downtown," Daniel replied. 

Zach paced the house. Ryan was out with friends and Reese was at the park with Mitchell's sister-in-law. He went upstairs and pulled out the pill bottle. He poured the pills into his hand and counted them. Seventy. He found himself taking the pills. It started with two but soon ten were gone. He began to regret his decision and reached for his phone but something stopped him. He was done. He couldn't take it anymore. Zach took one last pill as he began to feel weak. He ran his hands through his hair his vision blurred. He stumbled a few steps before collapsing.

Corbyn pulled into the driveway and jumped out of the car without even turning it off. He ran into the house looking around. "Zach! Zachary! Where are you? Zach, I know you're here, please answer me," he begged. 

There was no response and Corbyn ran into the downstairs bathroom. Nothing. He went into the kitchen when he heard a car pull in. Daniel ran in. Another car pulled in. Jonah. The boys searched the entire downstairs and made their way upstairs. Jack's room was empty. Corbyn opened Zach's door and gasped. Zach was on the ground foaming slightly at the mouth. "Oh my God. Zach." 

Jonah checked the boy's pulse. "He's still alive. We have to get him to the hospital now." 

Daniel picked up the boy and Corbyn opened the door for him. They were all hoping they hadn't been too late. 

Jack ran into the driveway to see three cars in the driveway still running. That's when he saw Daniel walking out with Zach limp in his arms. "Zach," he gasped. "No." 

They piled into the car and headed to the hospital. Jack sat in the back with Zach laying in his lap unconscious. They pulled into Accident and Emergency where several medics came running out. They put Zach on the stretcher and after learning the situation took him to the Emergency Room. "Fifteen-year-old male. Attempted suicide. Overdose on morphine." 

The doctors checked Zach over and sighed with relief. "This one is going to make it. He was brought just in time."