Christopher To Christina: An Answered Prayer

15. Lucky Me

After the operation, and time in the recovery room, I was returned to my room. It wasn't long before Dr Madison showed up to check on me. During the visit she reminded me of my request to have the operation recorded.

"Unfortunately. The nurse that set up the camera mistakenly didn't hit record. She thought it was recording, but it wasn't. However, she did take some still photos with another camera. She got photos of your penis and scrotum before they were cut, and shots of each stage of the transformation. Sorry about not getting the video. I'll have someone arrange to get you the photos."

"Doc, it's okay. Now that I think about it during recovery, I'm glad there's no video. I don't think I want the photos either. I'm so happy to finally be rid of my male parts, I think I'd rather not ever have to see them again. I don't want to be reminded of what I looked like before surgery. I want to immerse myself in my female life and totally forget, as much as that's possible, anything about not having been a girl my entire life. I don't want anyone who didn't already, to ever know I wasn't born with female genitalia. Having photos or videos around always leaves open the possibility of someone finding out."

That was a year and a half ago. Things went pretty smoothly after the surgery, although dilation was a string of painful experiences right at the beginning, and somewhat uncomfortable for quite some time. I did, however, get to a point where it was no longer a chore and one might say I even began to look forward to it for reasons other than its intended purpose.

I had my first man about four months ago. It was our fifth date, and he was such an amazing guy I couldn't turn him down.

He was so sweet and his way of hinting that he wanted to bed me was extremely cute. I was already wanting to be taken by him when he asked me out on the second date, so when he finally made it clear he wanted the same thing, I didn't even have to think about it. I was more then ready to do it and he was such an extremely wonderful guy I was elated to have him be my first.

Am I an easy lay? Eager to do it with any guy as soon as he makes a move? Christina round-heels? Perhaps I am; if all the other men in my life turn out to be as amazing human beings as he was, I'm sure I just might be.

But then, at the moment, I'm still in a relationship with him. If things continue like they are, he just might pop the question, give me a ring, and present me with having to decide whether I ever want to experience with another guy or not.

Till death do us part? That wouldn't be so bad.

What am I saying? I'm too young to make such a permanent decision. Besides, there are too many delicious men out there yearning to be with a beautiful big girl, for to deprive myself of all those experiences by limiting myself to one man.

****

So there you have my story. No magical transformations, no forced feminization, no punishments, no kinky/pornographic sex scenes. Just a loving mom who helped me discover a wonderful world, a world where I really belonged, and helped me make a home in it.

Don't think I don't realize how lucky I've been. I was lucky to have gone on hormones at twelve, but even more lucky to have started living full time at the age of seven. Many of my sisters have had to start twenty or more years later than that.

"Passing" was never a problem for me since I never had my body ravaged by male hormones. It also helped that I quickly emersed myself completely into my feminine life and very rapidly reformed my mindset into thinking as a girl and not as a boy trying to act like a girl.

I know that many others have had a much harder time, and my heart goes out to them. I was right to get down on my knees that morning and thank God. I still thank Him every day.

My love to my three dearest friends in this world: Mommy, Dr Madison, and my nice, pretty vagina, which I still vigorously dilate on the rare occasion when I'm not with a man....

-Christina Loralai Clarksdale-Brown