Adopted By Brendon Urie

Chapter 3

I woke up and checked the time. It was three in the morning. I got out of my bunk. Everyone was asleep. My thoughts were getting the better of me. I felt dizzy from not eating enough this week. I also felt sick. I grabbed the razors out of my toiletry bag and broke a couple blades off one. I held one in my hand and hid the rest in my suitcase. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. Out of dizziness I stumbled back. I needed help. I pocketed the blade, unlocked the door and texted Dallon.

Within two minutes Dallon was knocking on the bathroom door. "Hey, kiddo. Can I come in?" He asked. I stumbled to the door. "What's wrong?" He asked me, concerned. "I feel dizzy. Like I'm about to blackout or something." I explained. "When was the last time you had something to eat?" He questioned. "It's been a couple days." I responded. "Well let's get you something to eat. Then we'll see how you feel after that." Dallon said, leading me to the front.

I sat down. "We have cereal, Ramen Noodles, crackers, chips, I could make pancakes or waffles. There's fruit snacks, bananas. Does any of that sound good?" He suggested. "Crackers. And could I have a black coffee?" I replied. "Sure thing." He said. Dallon set the pack of crackers at the table and started a pot of coffee. While we waited for the coffee to brew Dallon and I sat at the table. "Thanks." I told him. "No problem." He said.

The coffee finally finished after decades. Dallon was fixing me a cup as Brendon walked out. "What are you two doing up?" Brendon asked. "Charlie texted me because she didn't feel good." Dallon answered. "Why are you up?" I asked Brendon. "Overstimulation." He said simply. I pulled out my phone and checked Instagram. All the Panic group sent me friend requests. I accepted all of them. Brendon looked at his phone when I did that. It took him a minute, but he liked a couple of my photos. "These photos are so cute. Who's the dude in the photo with you here?" Brendon asked and exclaimed. "Thanks. That's my brother. I don't want to talk about it, though. Brings back bad memories. He died a while back." I told him. He let the conversation go at that.

Dallon brought a cup of coffee over for me and Brendon. He got one for himself, too. Dallon sat down. I nibbled a bit at my crackers. "Come on, kid. You've gotta eat." Brendon told me. I slowly ate two crackers. "Do you usually have trouble sleeping?" Dallon asked. I nodded. "We could give you Melatonin if that will help." He suggested. "Anything is worth a try." I agreed. Dallon went and got me some. He handed one tablet to me and I swallowed it with my coffee. "You up for laying back down?" Brendon wondered. I shook my head. "Maybe in a little bit." I say right after.

"Do you want to do a livestream with me?" Brendon asked after I scrolled through Facebook for a little bit. I nodded. Brendon got his laptop, sat next to me and turned on the livestream. "Hey! What's up my Vros? I've got someone with me today. Her name is Charlie. I want all of you to be nice to her because she's fucking awesome and she'll be joining us on tour." Brendon told them. We watched the comments roll in. One of them was a question interrogating me about what happened as to why I was with Panic. I looked down and tugged at my sleeve. I looked back up, though, but kept tugging at my sleeve. The viewers noticed my stress and started making hate comments. "Hey. If you can't make nice comments then just leave. Charlie doesn't need hate right now. We're trying to help her and negativity is just making things worse. So if you can't be nice then just leave." Brendon said to his viewers.

Brendon kept streaming, but I got up and went to the bathroom with one of my blades. I locked the door behind me. For the first five seconds I was fine, but then I broke down crying. I couldn't take the pain. I rolled up my sleeve, pulled out the blade and made a couple cuts along my forearm. They went so deep that it hurt when I did it, but I didn't mind the pain. I deserved it.

There was a knock on the door. "Charlie? You okay?" I heard Kenny ask through the door. "I'm fine." I choked through the tears. "Can I come in?" He asked. "No. Go away." I told him. I could barely talk while I was crying. I knew that they knew I wasn't fine. I didn't want to worry them, but I knew that I already had.

Brendon's POV

Charlie was in the bathroom crying for a good hour. We were all worried about her. Kenny had already asked her if she was okay and she said she was fine, but we knew there was something wrong. I went and knocked on the door. Dallon followed me. "Hey, Charlie. You good?" I asked. No answer. "Charlie, can you open the door?" Dallon requested. No answer.

Dallon and I looked at each other. We both nodded. I opened the door. Charlie was sitting on the floor with her legs curled up into her chest. There were bleeding cuts on her arm. She was sobbing. "Char, what's wrong?" Dallon asked her. "Voice. Controlling me. Make it stop." She cried. Dallon sat next to her and I sat on the other side of her. I rubbed her back and Dallon stroked her hair. "Don't listen to it." I told her. She fell asleep with her head leaning on my shoulder.

Dallon carried her to her bunk after cleaning her arm. He was careful enough to not wake her. "What happened?" Kenny asked me after I walked to the front of the bus. I sat down and sighed. "She hurt herself." I told him. "Was it the hate comments?" He questioned. "I think, but I don't know. She wouldn't talk to Dallon or I. I want to help her. And I don't know if Sarah is up to it, but I want to adopt her. It hurts me that she wants to do that and I want to get the chance to help." I said.