strobe

18

Well you already know she died on her eighteenth birthday. Let's explore that day then.

It was a Friday. Everyone dreams of having their eighteenth on a Friday. For most people that means so they can go to a club or a pub (or both). Holly would have preferred to spend the night at home, so she could have an early night. Her friends, on the other hand, had different ideas.

Holly was the youngest in her group, meaning that now all her friends could go out legally. She had previously made excuses for not going clubbing by saying she didn't feel comfortable using fake ID, but now she had nothing to fall back on.

For the past month, her extremely domineering friends badgered her consistently to take them clubbing for her birthday. At first Holly had said she would prefer something more lowkey; desperately trying to avoid the real reason.

But then she finally had to say.

It wasn't easy for her to say. It's not like her friends didn't already know about the other thing - in fact the whole school did - but mentioning it seemed to make everyone else uncomfortable. Holly was fine talking about the other thing. No. Let's call it by what it really is.

Epilepsy.

It's not that scary a word.

No, it didn't make Holly uncomfortable. After all she was the one having the seizures. She was the one taking medication that destroyed her mental health. She was the only one with the right to be uncomfortable.

Well, one thing made her uncomfortable. The ignorant remarks.

How do you decide when to have one?

It's just excitement.

You're unconscious during a seizure?!

Of course, when she said she didn't want to go to the club, more of these remarks followed.

But I don't get why you can't come?

Holly patiently tried to explain that her epilepsy was triggered by flashing lights.

But my cousin's friend has epilepsy and he can go clubbing!

Holly sighed, and explained - for what felt the millionth time - that everyone has different triggers, and for her clubs and their strobe lighting were out of the question.

This conversation was about a week before her eighteenth.

Clearly all her efforts to educate her friends had gone through the window.

But she couldn't fight them anymore. Their ignorance - and complete apathy - was overwhelming Holly, like a tsunami smashing into a beach. There was no choice left.

Her friends' excitement sprang hope to Holly's mind. Maybe I'll be ok. I've watched lots of films with flashing and been fine. And what's the worst that can happen if I have a seizure?

What is the worst?