Peter by day, Pan by night

Chapter 15

        I blink and see blue. Satin that is soft on my skin. I’ve never worn satin before.

        Confusion blurs my thoughts, but only for a moment.

        I raise my head and look around the abandoned hideout. And wish for my street corner.

        I pull myself up. A red blanket slips from my shoulders, baring my arms.

        My fingers curl around my acorn. I close my eyes and see Peter Pan’s face. How was I so wrong about him, about the lost boys and this place? I should have stayed in England.

        The acorn is simple, worthless. So dull compared to the thimble I gave him. Was he making fun of me the whole time?

        I rub my thumb over it and throw it across the room. It slams against the wall and falls to the floor.

        I yank on my curls, the sharp pain jolting me awake. The anger is back. I am not tired anymore, but I have no desire to move. Everything in this world is wrong. 

        I lower my head back onto the pillow. Pillow? Blanket? My eyes widen. Did Peter Pan do this?

        A tear slips down my cheek. I am not ready to forgive him yet. Another tear falls. And another. No, I don’t cry. I can’t cry. My eyes ignore me and continue to send small teardrops down my cheeks. I shake, a sob pulsing in my throat.

        Don’t cry.

        I pull the red blanket over my head and squeeze my eyes close.

        Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

        And I cry. Tucked in a corner alone, my body curled into a small ball, I am forgotten.

        Hours pass. Nothing changes. I fall asleep, but a loud noise jerks me awake.  

        I sit up. Something thuds in the tunnel. “Who is it? Who’s there? Peter, ugh,Pan-go away!”

        “It isn’t Pan.” Kelvin sticks his head out. He stays in the tunnel, but his short legs swing over the edge. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

        I wipe my eyes. “What is going on, Kelvin? Why did you…?”

        He was one of the hooded boys. He ignored me when I called for help. They all stood by and let Peter take me.

        “You don’t understand, Wendy. I didn’t have a choice, none of us did.”

        “Because Pan forced you?” It is getting easier to call him Pan, but the truth is still hard to accept.

        Kelvin drops down. “No, he is under the spell too. Everyone in Neverland changes at night.”

        “I didn’t.”

        Kelvin stares at me, “I am not sure how it is possible, but I am glad that the evil didn’t touch you. At least not yet.”

        I stand up. My breath falls rapidly as I cross the distance between us. Kelvin’s eyes are dry, but his hands tremble.

        And I know he is as lost as I am.

        I wrap my arms around him and tuck his head under my chin. His whole body is shaking now. He is a victim too. But what about Peter Pan? Is he a victim or villain?

        Kelvin pulls away from me and blinks rapidly. He steadies his voice, “Are you coming up? We had breakfast hours ago, but saved some for you.”

        “I am not hungry.” I am starved. But there is no way I am ready to go up yet.

        “Pan wants to see you. This isn’t his fault. It is the reason why he sent you away.”

        “Then why come back for me? You helped him find me.”

        “I told you, we can’t help it. It is like everything inside us flips and we become entirely different people. The same skills and talents, but opposite motives and goals.”

        “Kelvin.” I whisper. “I am not ready.”

        He sighs. “I know it is a lot to take in, but you haven’t eaten all day. Come up with me. The boys will leave you alone. And Pan will too, if you ask him.”

        “I can’t. Not yet.” I tuck my arms around my waist. “I am sorry. Tell them I am tired.”

        “I won’t lie for you.” He reaches out his hand and pushes a curl out of my face. The gesture takes me back to last night when Peter did the same thing.

        I shiver and move away from him. “It isn’t a lie.”

        “Okay.” Kelvin bites his lip, but fly into the tunnel.

        “Kelvin-wait!” Tears sting my eyes, but I won’t let them fall. Not again. “Is there any way for me to go home?”

        His lip quivers. “No. Pan already broke the rules for you. Once to protect you, the other time to bring you back here. Even if you do return, he will just hunt you down. There is no escaping Neverland.”

        No escaping Peter Pan.

        I nod and Kelvin disappears up the tunnel.

        I slide to the floor. There has to be a way to save us all.

        Peter Pan is the villain. He is the nightmare. But I might be able to break his hold over the lost boys, over the island.

        Kelvin said that the darkness changed Pan too, but it is easier to believe that he is merely pretending, lying.

        One hour.

        In one hour I will go up and confront this world. In one hour I will face the lost boys and their leader.

        But until then I will remember every word that has been said, every hidden warning or subtle threat. There are answers. I have to find them so I can beat Peter at his own game.

        I glance at the acorn in the corner, I listen to the distance sounds of Kelvin climbing out of the tunnel. I remember green eyes and angry words.

        Peter’s words lace through me. “It is always easier to hate someone than to love them, right, Wendy girl?”

        And I have to admit, it is true.