Zadr Oneshots

angry

The way Zim hung from the trees by his PAK legs really made him look like a predator. He was terrifying. Of course, it wasn’t exactly like Dib had much time to admire how he looked, because Zim was nothing but a blur above him. The sun was going down, the sunset casting the entire sky blood red. 

“You can’t keep this up forever, Zim!” Dib yelled, quickly losing sight of the alien. Their fights always boiled down to some variation of the same four sayings, it was almost getting boring. 

“That’s what you think, Dib-shit!!!” Within a minute, Dib was on his back and scrambling through the dirt and mud of the forest floor. Zim’s laugh had become weirdly familiar to Dib, even if it sounded like a seagull eating itself. It gave him the not-so-gentle reminder that despite the danger, despite everything he was currently feeling, this was still fundamentally Zim. And he wasn’t scared of Zim.

A laser shot past him, nearly striking him in the back of his head and setting the tree beside him ablaze. Dib scrambled across the loose leaves and dodged another well-timed laser. 

“I wanna help!!!” a robotic voice squealed, and faster than he could react, Gir smashed onto his back, scuttling up his shoulders and yanking on his hair. 

“Fuck!” he grunted, grabbing blindly at the robot. He eventually managed to snag a plush ear and rip the dog off his back, chucking him in the general direction of the lasers. He knew he’d hit his target when Zim let out a strangled grunt on impact.

“USELESS ROBOT,” he shrieked, PAK legs just barely catching him from being flung to the ground. But Dib had miscalculated; Zim had fallen close enough to Dib that he wouldn't be able to run away in time.

Zim lunged for him and connected. The force knocked Dib to the ground, and he punched him once, twice, three times before Zim pinned his arms, more PAK legs miraculously emerging from his PAK on command. Dib flailed wildly underneath him, a knee managing to knock Zim in the jaw before those too were pinned. Zim shouted and spat out a tooth. Hot pink blood mixed with saliva spat out with it, landing squarely on Dib’s chest 

“Eww gross! Don’t get your weird alien goop on me!” Dib complained, although he was nearly completely immobile under Zim. 

“DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT’S GOING TO TAKE TO GROW BACK,” Zim shouted, curling his fists into Dib’s stained T-shirt. His PAK held Zim a good foot above him, but Dib still pressed his face back into the muddy ground to put any semblance of distance between the two. 

“They grow back?! MAN, Irkens are weird.” Another laser struck the ground beside him, singeing some of his hair and making his ears ring. He tried to glare at the alien, but the sun was directly in his eyes, only partially blocked by Zim.

He pulled at his arms, but they were staked to the ground. He let his body slump, trying to at least catch his breath before he got his face pummeled, but his breathing came out as more of a ragged whimper than he’d meant it to.

“What’s the matter, human? Are you scared?” Zim drew the last word out teasingly, lowering himself closer till Dib’s nose almost brushed against his face.

“No,” he gasped out, turning his head away from Zim. His glasses pressed uncomfortably against his face and the ground. 

“I could kill you easily, human.” Zim’s victorious grin gleamed in the low light.

“But you won’t.” Zim’s sneer flickered, and Dib used his moment of surprise to rip one of his hands out from under a PAK leg and grab it with his fist. Zim stumbled before steadying himself. Dib brought the PAK leg against his throat, the sharp metal point just barely grazing his skin. 

“Go ahead Zim,” he taunted. “If you’re so convinced you’re going to kill me, then do it.” For the first time this fight, Dib managed to make seething eye contact with Zim, brown eyes meeting the vicious pinks and reds of Zim’s. “You’ve been saying you would since I met you.”

“Shut up,” Zim scowled, all his energy focused on keeping that one PAK leg steady.

“I don’t believe you. Kill me, Zim.”

“Shut up!”

“Kill me.”

“ Dib.” His voice was a growl, "Stop. Talking." He pulled out his biggest laser and pointed it directly at Dib’s forehead.

“Do it!” he called his bluff. “I dare you”

For a second, everything in the forest was silent. Streams stopped rushing, birds stopped squawking, leaves stopped falling. The only movement was the heaving of Dib’s chest, and the shaking of Zim’s hands. 

Zim threw himself back abruptly, shouting a gurgling scream of annoyance and anger, and quickly blew up what sounded like five trees in every direction. His PAK legs retreated and dropped him to his knees right above Dib’s chest.

His antennas lowered to his skull like a dog tucking its ears in before biting.

“I hate you,” he growled, almost sounding sad, and took the opportunity to spit more blood and drool directly onto Dib’s face. He crawled off of him, sludging over and picking Gir up by an arm. 

“Told ya,” Dib gloated as he picked himself up and leaned against a tree. “Y’know, Zim, if you were anyone else, I’d almost say you liked me-” 

And before Dib could process what was happening, Zim’s cold, gloved hands were grabbing his face and pinning him to the tree behind him, and Zim kissed him so hard his head banged against the bark. 

It was painful and dizzying, full of anger and spite and pure, unfiltered rage. Dib curled his hands in Zim’s uniform, not knowing whether to push him away or pull him so much closer. He opened his mouth and slicked his tongue across Zim’s lip, tasting the almost-sweet blood lingering there. Zim picked himself up on his PAK legs so he was taller than Dib, deepening the kiss and forcing his alien tongue into Dib’s mouth.

Dib groaned at the weird feeling in his mouth, wrapping his hands around the back of Zim’s neck and pulling him in. He took a chance and pulled Zim’s lip into his mouth to bite at it, almost wanting to hurt him, and took the strangled shout from Zim as a good sign. The kiss was almost as brutal as their fights, neither side willing to cede ground, and Dib almost gasped when Zim broke contact.

“You disgusting rat.” Zim pulled back to sneer at him, panting despite his lack of lungs, seething with anger and cheeks a good three shades darker than usual in what Dib could only assume was an Irken approximation of a blush. “Don’t ever put your filthy mouth on me again.”

“You kissed me!” he cried, indignation and something very different from that swirling in his chest.

“LIES. LIES. YOU CAN’T PROVE ANYTHING- Gir!” Zim shouted, climbing up into the trees and rocketing home on the back of Gir. 

Dib was left standing in the middle of the quickly darkening forest. He leaned back against the tree and slid down to the ground.

“Shit,” he groaned. “That was… less boring than usual.”