𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᵃᵐᵖⁱʳᵉ ᵈⁱᵃʳⁱᵉˢ & ᵃᵛᵉⁿᵍᵉʳˢ

ɪɪ. ᴡʜʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴇ?

| ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ |

‗ ❍ [ˢᵉᵃˢᵒⁿ ¹] ¡! ❞

( picks up at the The Night Of The Comet )

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Ever since the events that happened at the grill last week, I  haven't stepped outside of Grams home. I just stopped. I stopped reading. I stopped watching TV, I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped leaving my room and I stopped sleeping. The night of the grill replayed in my mind constantly all day and night.

Bonnie hadn't suspected anything out of the ordinary at first. She would pound on my door for me to come down for school and give the usual threat that she would leave me to walk. However, I think she soon caught on that something wasn't right after the second night of me not coming down for dinner. From then on, I would hear her concerned pleads for me to come out and beg for me to talk to her.

I want to be able to talk to Bonnie and assure her that 'I am okay'. That all I need is a couple of days to pull myself together.

But I can't.

Sometimes I find myself thinking about Stefan, wondering what he was doing. Have I even crossed his mind?

Then the agonizing memory of the night at the Grill consumes me. When we first touched, I recall peering into his deep green eyes and feeling the delightful sparks shoot up my arm. My senses were assaulted by the aroma of new books, which was fresh and clean, and my body was tingling with excitement.

But then the memory shattered all over again when I remember how fast it all ended. His emerald eyes had lost their radiance and were no longer as inviting. The gratifying buzz fades as swiftly as it appeared, as do the pleasurable sparks when he let my hand go. He recoiled his hand so quick like I had burned his hand with hot acid.

So this is what real heartbreak feels like, I thought to myself as the dams had finally broke and the waterfalls freely flow from my eyes. After awhile, I noticed that I was wailing, but there was no way to stop the broken sounds falling from my mouth even if I tried.  

I wish I was hit by a bus before I met you

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

"Fae I wanted to tell you that I'm off to school again today. I might be home late because I am going to help Elena and Caroline setting up for the Night of the Comet." Bonnie says from behind the door, pausing for a moment. I turn my head from the window to look at my door and imagining her leaning against it slightly to speak to me.