Another One?

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Brody, Alana, Andrew and I are sitting on the couch watching Blank Ops II, with a bucket of popcorn on my lap. The Blank Ops movie series is my all time favorite thing. It’s about a bunch of undercover FBI agents, that have a bunch of fucked romances and shitty criminals. I love it.

“Yo!” Sean yells, walking into the house. “I want you guys to meet someone. Brandon! Shayna! Newt, get down here!”

“What?” Brandon comes down, with a phone to his ear.

“Who are you talking to?” Alana asks.

“None of your shit,” Brandon says. “What do you want, Sean?”

“Meet, Kristina,” Sean says, as a pretty Latina walks into the house. “She’s my new girlfriend.”

“Another one?” Brody asks.

“Go home,” Sean demands.

Brody chuckles. “This practically is my home.”

“Wait, where’s Shayna?” Sean asks.

“Bathroom. Diarrhea,” I say.

“Okay, well, like I said, this is Kristina. We’ve been dating for a week, and I thought you should meet her.”

I groan and stand up. I walk over to Kristina.

“Hi,” she says, putting out her hand for a hand shake.

“Either you treat my brother right, or I crack your head on the pavement outside.” I look to Sean. “You knock her up, I stab you in the nuts. You treat her wrong, I stab you in the nuts. You cheat on her, I stab you in the nuts. Put your hands on her, not only will I stab you in the nuts, I’ll cut your small package off.” Sean looks scare. I put my hand out for a handshake. “Hi, I’m Dawn.”

“Hi,” Kristina says.

“You have a nickname? Like Kris, Tina?”

“Either one is fine.”

“Okay, well, I like Kris better,” I say. “Dinner should be ready in 10, we’re watching Blank Ops II, if you wanna join.”

Kristina has been staying at the house for the last week. She’s not too bad. She plays soccer with me and Brody in the park almost everyday.  Honestly, I don’t hate her as much as I usually hate Sean’s girlfriends.

“What do you think of her?” Sean asks.

“What?”

“Kristina. What do you think?”

“Small boobs, not really my type.” I open up a can of beer. “Why?”

“I meant, do you like her?”

“Sure. I mean, she’s a lot better than all of the other chicks you’ve dated. Remeber Tash McMandy? The girl that shit herself when she was mad?”

“Yeah. So you do like her?”

“Sure, yeah. But seriously, don’t knock her up. I can’t handle another baby around this house.”

I go upstairs and sit on Alana’s bed. Alana is painting Kristina’s nails a pretty blue color, and singing along to some music.

“Like any guys at school?” Kris asks.

“No,” I say. “Everyone there is batshit.”

“What about you, Alana?” Kris asks.

“Lesbian,” Alana says. “So, no.”

“Oh, really? Good for you,” Kris says.

“Pussy’s not good for anyone,” I say. “That’s why men suck.”

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