You Kill Him Or I Do

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“Dawn!” Sean yells, bursting in.

“I could’ve been naked, you know,” I say.

“Can I borrow some pants?” Sean asks.

“Since when do you fit into my skinny jeans?” I ask.

“They’re for Kris,” Sean says. “She just needs to borrow some leggings.”

“Borrow as in you’ll give it right back, or borrow as in you’ll take it and never give it back?” I ask.

“Borrow as in she’ll give it right back.”

“Okay, top drawer.”

I get up out of bed and get my shoes on.

“Oh, and P to the S,” Sean says. “Patrick is coming over to watch you guys while Kris and I are out.”

Patrick is one of Seans friends. Patrick is this really scary guy in our town. Almost everyone is scared of him, and if you’re not, then you’re probably a Kelson.

“Brody, Simon, and Kelsey are coming over, is that okay?” I ask.

“Sure, yeah, I don’t care,” Sean says.

“Make sure that I get those pants back- I like those,” I say. “And if I don’t get them back, I’ll put your tiny body over my shoulder, and throw you out the window.”

“Got it,” Sean says, grabbing leggings from my drawer. “Patrick should be here soon.”

“Have fun!’ I yell, as Sean walks out.

Sean leaves, and Andrew, Kelsey, Simon, and Brody start watching National Geographic, while I go grab some snacks from the kitchen.

The door bell rings, and I ask, “Can someone get the door?” No one answers. “Fine. I’ll do it.” I walk out of the kitchen and to the door. “Yo, Patrick, come on in.”

“Patrick!” everyone but Andrew yells, bunching together in fright.

“What’s wrong with you guys?” I ask.

“That’s Patrick the gang-banger,” Kelsey says.

“And?” I ask

“He’s… scary,” Simon says.

“Okay, well Patrick the gang-banger is babysitting us while Sean is out,” I say.

“What?!” they all yell.

“Guys, chill out,” Andrew says.

“I can’t chill out when Patrick the gang-anger is standing in the doorway,” Kelsey says.

“Patrick the gang-banger is inside now,” Patrick says.

“Ahh!”

“Chill, homies. I come in peace… for today,” Patrick says. 

“So, Patrick, how’s Abuelita?” Andrew asks.

Patrick sits down on the couch. “Good. She’s out of the hospital now.”

“Oh, why was she in the hospital?” Simon asks.

“She had a heart disease, so she was in there for a few weeks. But now, she’s safe and back in jail,”  I say.

“Jail?” Simon asks. “What for?”

“Murder,” Patrisk says. Everyone looks at him with fright.

“He’s kidding,” I say. “She was caught dealing.”

“Drugs?” Brody asks.

“No, french toast,” I say sarcastically. “Yes, drugs.”

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