LONELY| Thomas Shelby

3.4

THOMAS SHELBY SAT, at his desk in his office, a large amount of cash lined up in front of him. Beth sat on the desk beside him, staring down at the money. Beth had never seen such quantities of money and also felt guilty as if the poor girl she grew up as would stare at her disapprovingly as she stared down at the money. Charles slept in the room next door, and for the first time in days wasn't in neither Beth nor Tommy's line of site or in either arms. Knowing the Blinders were in the house all at once, Beth felt quiet relaxed knowing the child would be safe.

Tommy was staring at the money. Mentally preparing himself to break the heart of the girl he loved once again and potentially have some of his family members. His eyes wandered to Beth who caught his glance, grinning lightly at him as she pushed her wavy blonde hair behind her ears. 'if only you knew, you'd never forgive me' Tommy thought, taking Beth's hand in his and placing a delicate kiss to her knuckles. The meeting was a way he could have all his family in one room, which then would later be swarmed by coppers who would arrest each member of the Shelby family for their various crimes.

The only people to be except being Ada and Tommy. Despite Tommy having committed for crimes than his family combined.Tommy had struck a deal to lee himself out of prison long enough to save his family. Finn was also clear of all charges, having done one thing but be a bystander to the larger operation. That left Polly, Micheal, Arthur, Beth and John, who could all be arrested for the various crimes. As much as Tommy would regret his upcoming decision, nothing broke his heart more than not being able to tell Beth that they'd be separated.

"I love you. I'm sorry." Tommy spoke. Beth's eyebrows furrowed as she nodded. "I love you too Tommy." She assured, squeezing his hand tightly in hers. Tommy coughed awkwardly, standing up and letting out a huff as he attempted to pull himself together. The doors opened and soon enough all the Shelby's where in the room; Tommy, Arthur, John, Ada, Esme, Linda, Isaiah, Finn, Beth, Johnny Dogs, Curley and Charlie. Taking her seat between Arthur and John, Beth grinned as John's hand took hers. "Before I begin I want to let you know i've made a mistake. I made a mistake and I want to apologise to all of you." Tommy spoke.

"Arthur you warned me against getting involved with Russian business. And you were right. I doubted your wife and for that I am sorry." Sliding the pile of cash toward Arthur, Tommy's eyes refused to meet his older brothers. "Linda I have added three thousand here in the hopes that you will forgive me."Linda stood up to retrieve her money, her heels clicking as she glared downward at Tommy. "Apology accepted." Beth nearly scoffed at the pregnant woman but John squeezed her hand and Beth knew by the look he gave her it was best to leave things unsaid with Linda.

"Esme, I doubted you as well." Tommy continued. "Now John's got innocent lives on his conscience. Ordinary working men." Esme spat, looking up from the baby in her arms. "Yeah alright Esme, got it." John cut in hoarsely. "No she's right." Tommy agreed. "And you and Arthur are gonna have to share that burden." Throwing two piles of money forward, Tommy shrugged. "But I hope the house that you can buy with this can become a place of contemplation. Perhaps redemption."

John stood bitterly, receiving his money before sitting back down. "Charlie for lost tools, dangerous good and Curley wise words." Tommy threw a pile of money at his uncle. "Johnny for board and lodgings." another roll of cash throw toward johnny dogs. Sheepishly, Tommy slid a roll of cash towards Lizzie, saying her name softly. She pursed her lips and threw it back at him, sitting in her chair glaring. "Micheal for the killings. Five for the cutting and five for the shooting." Tommy continued, throwing the cash toward his cousin.

"No Tommy." Polly interjected standing up. "What?" Tommy yelled. Beth stood to her feet glancing cautiously toward Tommy as if afraid he'd lash out. "Tell me, eh? This is who I am." Tommy roared, waving the cash in front of his face. "And this is all I can give you for what you've given me. For your hearts and your souls. Yesterday I nearly lost my son." Tommy tossed the money down, pointing at his aunt. "You should understand that. For what? For this? For this?"

"And I know you all want me to say that I'll change. That this fucking business will change. But i've learned something in the last few days. This bastards; those bastards are worse than us. Politicians, fucking judges, Lords and Ladies. They are worse than us, and they will never admit their places no matter how legitimate we become. Because of who we are. Because of who we fucking are, because where we're fucking from. Isn't that right, Ada?" Tommy questioned, rounding to his sister.

"Our Ada knows. She got smart about revolution. And she knows you have to get what you want your own way. And the rest of you, you took the kings shillings. You took the kings fucking shillings. When you take the kings shillings, the king expects you to kill. Right Arthur? Yeah that's how it works, yeah, John?" Tommy finished, Beth sitting down slowly as Micheal in return stood up and took his wad of cash. "That's right." He muttered before sitting back down.

"That's right Pol." Tommy said, straightening up and putting his hands onto his hips. "That's fucking right." Pol only shook her head. "Tommy. You've had a bad time. We understand. So, at an alternative time." Pol paused taking the money from Micheal. "When we have all recovered, I would like to put before the family an alternative view of the future of the Shelby Company Limited. A more hopeful view."  The baby in Esme's arms began to cry, echoing around the room. "Which I for one, would quiet like to hear." Ada spoke up.

"As would I." Beth agreed. "As would I." Esme repeated. "As would I." Lizzie nodded, winking toward Beth who grinned sadly as the room fell back into a silence. "Come on Arthur. The train for the dock leaves in one hour." Linda spoke, beginning to gather herself. "Wait you're actually leaving?" Beth asked, her eyebrows raising in shock as panic began to set in. She wasn't as close to Arthur as she was to John or Tommy but he still was an important role in her life growing up and Beth tend to look up to Arthur quiet a lot growing up, seeing as he always had Beth and Calvin under his wing.

"Yes." Linda snapped, answering for him. "Then we'll get the boat to New York, and it'll all be in the past." Everyone stood to bid farewell to Arthur and Beth was the first to latch onto him tightly, tears gathering in her eyes. "Don't you bloody forget me old man." She teased. "I couldn't if i tried my hardest to betty." Arthur grinned, smiling into her face as rubbed his finger over her cheekbone. Next was John, both brothers having a moment of silence as they embraced each other. John sniffling as they pulled away.

Beth hearts broke at the site as she took John's hand in hers, placing her head into his shoulder as she watched Arthur approach Tommy. "I'll be off then Tommy." Arthur spoke. Tommy ignored him, taking a drag of his cigarette before blowing out the smoke. Arthur's face contorted and Beth leaned forward in confusion. "I'll see you, eh? I'll see you, brother." Arthur spoke, again being ignored by Tommy. Beth looked around, catching Finn's eyes who looking as if he was trying his hardest not to cry. Opening her arm, Finn leaned into Beth's side, knowing he would later be slagged by Isaiah but yet Finn couldn't seem to care.

And as if the world was ending, the room fell into a dreadful silence that you could hear a pin drop and Thomas Shelby took that to his advantage and leaned forward onto his desk saying something that would leave the Shelby's in confusion for a few moments before the room would be filled with distraught shouts and screams. "You can go, but you won't get far Arthur."