LONELY| Thomas Shelby

4.6

"A MAN? YOU TOLD a boy to be a fucking man?" Beth yelled, shoving harshly against Tommy's chest. "Calm down Beth." Tommy grumbled, reaching for her hand. "No I won't calm down Tommy! He's an eighteen year old boy and you did that to him knowing that's not what he wanted. You took me to the canal to distract me! I cant believe you, oh my bloody heavens." Beth growled, plopping herself onto her couch, as she placed her head into her hands in frustration.

"I didn't take you to the canal to distract you-." Tommy began, pouring himself and herself a whiskey. "It's bloody Finn." Beth murmured, feeling her heart break as she took the whiskey from Tommy's hand. "Just calm down Bethany." Tommy repeated, letting out a sigh. "He's a boy Tommy. He's a fucking boy. He is the one who has a chance to be good! He's not like you or Arthur or god rest his soul poor John. He didn't have to go to war, he doesn't have to go to war for his brothers. He's still innocent and you of all people should be fighting for him to stay that way."

"He needs to be stronger if he wants to survive." Tommy seethed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "That's why he has you! You're his older brother. So is Arthur. You both are supposed to protect him, no matter what the cost because he's kin. He's still a fucking boy." Beth spoke, placing her glass onto the table. "I don't want to argue. I'm tired and I'm going to bed." She finished, her hands shaking as she attempted to walk past Tommy. "I won't apologise for getting Finn laid." Tommy grumbled, leaning back into his seat.

"Finns life has been hard. He's only eighteen Tommy. He's lost his mum, barely knew his dad, lost his older brother John a few weeks ago and now you've all auctioned him off to some whore who he pleaded against. When you were eighteen you were writing love letters, Tommy for fucks sake if they had gave you a whore at eighteen you would have ran out of the house and hid under my bed!" Beth seethed, in anger. "Now leave me alone, I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch if you want to have such an opinion."

Tommy let out a grumble, the glass in his hand smashing as he squeezed his eyes shut in anger from where he sat on the couch. Beth's eyes widened, her eyebrows raising as she got memory's of Christmas Eve in John and Esme's when she herself had smashed a glass in her hand and John had handed her the black hand. Beth hadn't realised Tommy had stood up as her breathing altered, the memories becoming too much as her mind began to spin and her breathing laboured. "Beth?" Tommy repeated, taking her arm softly.

Beth's eyes came back to focus on Tommy's, snatching her arm from his hold as she turned with glossy eyes and went up the stairs. "Sleep on the couch." She repeated, walking into their bedroom with a sigh. She changed into her night wear, and combed softly through her hair before she sat onto their bed, hugging her knees to her chest as she sighed. It had been weeks since John died. The memory in which felt surreal, Beth near felt as if she'd rub her eyes and walk across the hall in Pols home to John's bedroom for a cuddle and then down the hall would be Tommy and Arthur's rooms.

That's not the way it would work though, not anymore. Maybe ten years earlier, when Polly would make a big breakfast every morning. Tommy and Beth would hold hands under the table, Arthur would pretend to read the newspaper to seem sophisticated but would actually be looking for pictures, John would torment Ada and Finn and Polly would sit stressed, sipping on a mug of tea as she attempted to settle the hectic table in the early hours.

Dinner would be similar, Arthur would be gone out, John would eat quickly so he could run after Arthur, Tommy would talk to Beth, Beth would barely eat, Finn would try to talk to Ada who would be sitting in boredom wondering how it must be to be like Beth who in her eyes was free and Polly would take it in turns scolding the children. Those memories were gone. Gone forever. Never would they have a family breakfast or a dinner ever again.

Polly would unstable. Finn was grown up and polite. Ada was a lady with a child. John was gone. Arthur was occupied with Linda and her pregnancy. Tommy was busy with business. Beth was trying to keep up with Tommy. Micheal who had joined the family was attempting desperately to fill shoes that were not to be filled and never to be filled. Beth was broke out of her thoughts by a knock to the bedroom door, her eyes wondering over to Tommy who peaked in, tip toeing toward the bed.

Scoffing, Beth sighed as the bed dipped and he slipped in beside her, his arms pulling her close. "I'm sorry love." Tommy whispered, combing his hand through her blonde hair. "No, you just didn't fancy sleeping on the bloody couch." Beth scolded softly, yawning as she moved away from him, putting her back to him. A moment of silence fell as Tommy huffed. "I'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?" He compromised, glancing over at Beth. "I know you will love, I know." Beth murmured, turning to face him.

"Just don't be mad at me, ok?" Tommy spoke. "I won't be mad when you speak to Finn and apologise." Beth corrected, letting out a yawn as she cuddled into their duvet. "I miss John too, y'know and I just don't want you to put pressure to be John." Tommy only nodded, running his hand up and down Beth's back as he stared down at her. "Go to sleep love." Tommy sighed, pulling her close. "I love you."

"I love you."

AUTHORS NOTE
Lonely has passed so quickly i actually believe how quickly the progress was. Thank you to everyone for the love and support and hopefully i'll have more updates soon. Also i know right now is boring but the future updates are going to be way more exciting, thank you so much for the votes and comments.
Lee