New York
7th, September, 2022
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Onika's Pov
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I sigh watching Beyoncé leave. There's nothing I can do or say to change the woman's mind and I have no choice but to accept that.
"Should I be concern?" My head snaps towards the voice, my mother.
The irritation I felt just by looking at her was beyond me, she has a lot of nerves showing her face when she's the reason why I'm not even living in the house anymore.
She left again, and like before she left without a warning. It seems like the women in my life just always leaves.
I didn't even bother to give my mother any attention instead I grab the white towel and wipe down the bar not acknowledging my mother's presence.
A sight left her lips "I know you're mad but you have t-" I cut her off before she can say something ignorant that can upset me.
"What are you doing here?" I gritted through my teeth. "Are you here to collect another worst mother of the year award?" I childishly say.
How the hell did she even know that I work here and just as much of the conversation did she hear?
My mother didn't look me in my eyes and I know that she knows she fucked up, again.
"Onika, I know what happened over the past summer isn't forgivable but I'm hoping that you can forgive me" She sound sincere and if I didn't know her I'll probably believe her.
I let out a humorous laugh because honestly this is comedy "You're kidding right?" I ask but the look on her face doesn't seem like she's kidding "Unless you have a dinner reservation or you're ordering a drink then your presence is not welcome"
She sighs while playing with her wedding ring "I really did want to have a second try with you but it's not my fault" She says.
The fact that she never takes accountability for HER actions is the reason why I'm really pissed off.
"You're here because you're worried about where I sleep, right?" I tried to act cordial.
My mother nods "Your friend gave me a call and I caught the first flight to New York" She almost sounds like a concerned mother.
I scoff, "Hopefully it wasn't a one way ticket because I don't want you here" I know my words are hurtful but I really didn't care.
She fooled me twice and I couldn't let her fool me again. She made the decision to not be in my life and I'm letting her stand on that decision.
"You know I actually was happy to move to LA with you" I chuckle at the memory. "You really had me fooled, mom" I say lowly.
My mother sighs while she still plays with her wedding ring and I wonder why she even wears that when her marriage isn't even a marriage anymore.
"I told you that it wasn't my fault" She stops playing with her wedding finger and finally looks at me.
"You say that but you're the one that got up and left no one forced you, there was no gun to your head" My voice broke finally admitting out loud that my mother doesn't want me "You left because you didn't want me. I don't know what I did for you to hate me this much but whatever I did must've been unforgivable because you hurt me over and over again" I let myself be vulnerable.
Maybe Ashley is right, I use humor to hide my pain because that's what comforts me, if I don't want to fall off the deep end then I need to crack a joke or two to keep me sane.
I wear designer to cover my hurt, spending my father's money was sort of therapeutic, I enjoy dressing up and I guess I didn't see it before but I use it as a mean to escape.
