Corrupted Lungs (Complete)

Chapter Fourteen

"What. . . What are you doing in our table?" taas-kilay na tanong ni Sofia at pabagsak pang inilagay ang tray ng pagkain sa mesa.

"Eating, obviouly." Arkie answered, flatly. Not even glancing at the other.

Sofia whips her head and stared at me knowingly, I just gave her a smile as an answer. The latter then groan in annoyance before slumping on her seat. Arjay followed giving my friend a quick greeting.

"Hey, you better eat all of that," biglang sita niya sa akin. Magkaharap kasi kami at katabi ko si Sofia. "I don't know what's wrong but you don't seem alright. You're pale."

"I'm fine," I told him with a small smile on my lips. "Just lack of sleep. Catching up with Dad lastnight."

"Hmm." sagot lang niya't nagpatuloy nang kumain.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero bigla itong nag-ayang sabay kaming kumain. At since inaya na din naman ako nina Sofia, isinama ko nalang siya. He was reluctant at first but eventually said yes after a couple of pleading.

"By the way, Mr. Perfect--"

"Don't call me that." madiing putol ni Arkie sa sinasabi ni Sofia. Nakita ko pang sinamaan niya ng tingin ang dalaga na ikinaikot lang ng mata nito.

"Alright. So, is the rumor true?" usisa niya. Napakunot noo naman ang kausap tanda na hindi nito alam ang sinasabi ng isa. Napalabi naman si Sofia. "About you getting accepted on that university."

Arkie nodded, uninterested. "Yeah, guess it is."

"Damn! How can you do that!?" bunghalit ni Sofia. Itinuro pa niya ang isa gamit ang tinidor.  "That's an elite school! How!?"

Arkie scoofed. "There"s no such things as elite. And as for your question, I studied." he answered, shrugging his shoulders. "You should do the same."

"Easy for you to say."

"Try harder, then."

"Urgh." Sofia stabbed the beef on her plate before giving the later a look. "So, was it also true?"

"What?"

"That Heather was going there, too?"

"Huh. . ." Arkie trailed off, tilting his head as if he's uninterested of that topic. "That was she told us. She applied and got accepted."

"Man, that's awesome," pagsali na ni Arjay sa usapan. "Going to the same university with your girlfriend."

"Yeah. . . I guess."

Inabot ko ang tubig ko at mabilis na uminom upang lunukin ang nagbabadyang petals na kumawala sa bibig ko. Ngunit gaya ng kung gaano kahirap huminga ay ganun din ito kahirap piliting 'wag kumawala.

     Its like, my chest is being closed by the vines crawling outwards. Burning my throat and roots clasping tight around my lungs making it hard to breath. I cough. Dropping the glass on the table and cupping my mouth. Swallowing everything back.

"Hey, what's wrong!?" bulalas ni Sophia. Maagap ako nitong hinawakam sa mga braso at hinagod ang aking likod. Sunod-sunod akong umiling. "Are you okay?"

I opened my mouth to speak but then I closed it, just nodding as a responce only receive a frown from her. Natutop ko ang bibig ko at pasimpleng napahawak sa dibdib ko dahil sa sobrang sikip at kahirapan sa paghinga. I tried not to heave a breath infront of them.

Don't wanna. . . Don't wanna let them know. . . Don't want to let HIM know. . . A little more. A little bit more. Just until he left. Please.

But, they don't listen.

I cough again. This time, not being able to stop from gasping for air.

"Oi, dumbass. What's going on?" tanong niya, bakas ang pagkabahala sa tinig niya. Nang magtangka itong tumayo ay pinigil ko ito't pilit na nginitian.

"Uhm. . . I. . . I think. . ." napalunok ako at marahang tumayo. Tutop ng mga kamay ang bibig at tiyan. "I really need to go the bathroom. . ."

"Huh?" the three of them asked in unison.

"It's coming out." I lied.

"Oh, shit! That's disgusting! Leave!" paghuhurumintado ni Arkie. Nabakas na ang pandidiri sa mukha niya, maski ang dalawa'y napangiwi.

"Sorry!"

Tumakbo na lamang ako at tinungo ang pinakamalapit na banyo. Pagkapasok ko ay kaagad akong pumasok sa isang cubicle. Bending down the bowl, coughing petals.

This time, it was different. It was a lot more harder to breath, to cough. To spill out those petals. Something solid was stuck on my throat. I tried. Coughing, to let it out because it was starting to suffocate me.

When it was finally out, I gasped deeply.  Slumping on the floor, staring in horror at the flower infront of me. Petals scattered on the white floor. And the first ever, full bloom flower that I cough. With its stem and leaves. It lies there, blood painting it's vibrant blue color.

"A full bloom," napaigtad ako't napasinghap dahil sa tinig na iyon. Nanlalaki ang matang lumingon ako at nakita si Sofia na nakatitig lang sa sahig.

"S-Sofia. . ."

Her brows knitted, gritting her teeth. "How long. How long has it been? That you've been suffering?"

"Sofia. . ."

"Tell me," her voice broke, her breath was shaky. "How long are you planning to keep it from me?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "I'm sorry."

"Feiya!" anas niya. Napasinghap akong muli nang hawakan niya ang mga braso ko. "Ano ba! Nababaliw ka na ba? This is too much! You have to stop! Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

"N-no. . ."

"Then, why? Is this because of Arkie? Of Heather?" tanong niya na siyang ikinangiti ko ng mapait. "Are you. . . Are you. . ."

"No." putol ko't nginitian siya. Pinahid ko din ang mga luhang nagbagsakan mula sa mata ko bago sumagot. "Not because of her."

"Then, why?" my heart sank with her broken voice, almost on the verge of crying, her hands on my shoulder trembles. Tears gathered on the side of her eyes.

"You know, I never though of being her. Of being Heather. All I want is to be equal to Arkie. . ." I glance at the flowers on the floor, smiling bitterly. "To be able to reach him. But, he's just so. . . unattainable."

Nadinig ko ang paghikbi niya at kalauna'y humilig ito sa balikat ko. Hinagod ko naman ang likod niya habang yakap ito ng mahigpit. She just cried.

"Please. . ." she mumbled between her uncontrolable sobs. Gripping my shirt at the back. "Don't. . . Die on me. . . Please. . ."

Hindi ako sumagot. Hinigpitan ko lang ang yakap sa kanya at ibinaon ko nalang din ang mukha ko sa balikat niya. At kahit ganoon, napatitig lang ako sa mga nagkalat na petals sa sahig. Sa bulalak na nababahiran ng dugo.

I don't want to forget. But, I don't want to die either. I want to live long, but I want to be with Arkie's side. I want to hear about Dad's stories, but I also want to see Arkie's game. I want to see my sister recover, but I want our friendship to remain.

I want them. All.

I don't want to choose. I don't want to let go. I don't want him erased. I don't want to throw this away. I don't want to.

"That was she told us. She applied and got accepted."

"Man, that's awesome. Going to the same university with your girlfriend."

"Yeah. . . I guess."

Arkie. . . What should I do?