Lost in the Rhythm

No Flutist Left Behind

"I'm done! This thing is stupid!"

Luz resisted the urge to throw her saxophone onto the ground right then and there, but since she knew it would be expensive to fix, she flopped down grumpily onto the couch instead, keeping the horn balanced in her lap. She'd about had it with this piece she was supposed to be playing. Contest was in a week, and she'd barely begun to be able to play the rhythms. She shuddered when she thought about how much expression and articulation and other long musicy words she had to incorporate into her performance.

Willow hovered over her. "That's because you're not trying. Stand up and play it again."

"Of course I'm trying," she snapped. "I'm just bad at this."

"I think you're distracted."

"I'm not. Watch." She went back to her thin wire music stand and attempted to bring her mouthpiece up, but the bell of her sax had other plans, hitting the side of the stand and sending it toppling forward. "See? The universe has it out for me. I'm gonna fail."

Willow sighed. "You're only making so many mistakes because there's something on your mind," she said firmly.

"Yeah. Like how I'm gonna be taking home a bronze metal on Saturday. Hell, maybe it won't even be bronze. Maybe I'll get a participation ribbon."

"That's not why you're distracted, and you know it."

If Willow weren't her best friend, Luz wouldn't allow her to be as brutally honest as she was. Unfortunately, Willow was usually right, including about this. Luz knew very well that she wouldn't think anything less of herself if she didn't win a gold medal in a week.

"Luz, ever since Amity went missing, you've been more on edge than a sixth grader at their first concert. I don't really know what happened last week at your real concert, but I'm assuming it has something to do with the reason she's gone, and now you blame herself for whatever happened to her."

"I appreciate you being the voice of reason here," Luz huffed, "but sometimes I really wish you weren't so intuitive."

"Ah, sorry, you're stuck with me." She laughed, clapping Luz on the back. "So," she went on, crossing her arms, "is there anything you want to tell me?"

"I..." Luz was hesitant. How much did she want to tell Willow? Did she want to reveal that everything her friend said was correct? Willow hadn't lied once. Luz really did feel like she was to blame for Amity's disappearance. Since the day after the concert, Amity hadn't shown up to school once. Luz had tried texting her multiple times, but the messages hadn't even gone through. It couldn't have been a coincidence. Amity had described her horrible parents, and Luz had saved her from them for one night- but that's just what it had been. One night.

But then again, she could never give Willow the satisfaction of having predicted their... whatever this was. Or would be, if Amity escaped her parents. "I just hope she's okay."

"Good riddance, I say. I'm sure she's fine. I don't know why you aren't happier. You're no doubt the top player in the jazz band now."

"I would have been anyway, since I moved up. And just because she's Amity," she added defensively, "doesn't mean she's not my bandmate. I can still worry about her."

A realization crossed Willow's face, and she narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute," she said. Luz watched with a pit in her stomach as her friend donned her signature shit-eating grin. "Ha! I knew it!"

Play dumb, play dumb, play dumb! "Knew what?"

"You and Amity," Willow laughed triumphantly. "You're, like, y'know... together!"