remember me / bucky barnes & loki laufeyson

four / god of mischief

"loki?", your eye widen as you drop the knife abruptly to the ground. 

"how did you know I was here?!", you demand as you throw your arms around him.

you find comfort in his touch as he accepts your embrace with a smile. this was nice, you thought. loki felt like home to you, he has for as long as you can remember. 

thor interrupts the moment with a laugh, "well, you did join an avengers mission... and he is my brother after all!"

you suddenly recall that they didn't believe you. I mean, you did say it with a hint of sarcasm but why would you lie about something so particular? well, I guess you did lie but that's besides the point now. 

loki takes your hand and laces his fingers with yours, "and I wanted to see what my wife was up to". he was always so cheeky in the way that he spoke.

wanda and nat exchange a look of shock as the expression falls like a domino across the face of everyone in the room. 

thor shakes his head in disbelief, "wait, I thought you were kidding when you said you were married to my brother?!"

it's not unlike loki to keep secrets from people, most of all his family. while the revelation is not shocking, thor still seems slightly hurt by what appears to be the truth hidden from him. 

you roll your eyes at loki and begin to explain, "we uh - we aren't actually married... it was for a mission."

that was a bad lie. it was half true though, you and loki weren't married, not officially at least but as you both look at each other and laugh, you know it's a bit more complicated than you are leading on. 

"I do need to talk to you though," you whisper as your gaze fixates on bucky. "now loki." the urgency that escapes your lips is hard to miss as he follows your eyes to the corner of the room and notices who is there.

loki knows more than anyone the complicated past that you've been running from. he knows who you are, who you have been and ultimately who you want to be. you wouldn't be alive without him. 

without another word, he follows you to your room.

you shut the door and look at him, tears beginning to swell in your eyes, "you said he wouldn't remember."

he narrows his eyes at you confused for a single moment, "what happened to the spell, loki?" your voice was helpless. he hated seeing you hurt and he now knows exactly what has happened as he pulls you into his arms. 

"why do I remember?", you ask sadly as the memories begin to flood your mind, drowning out the comfort that loki has given you for so long. 

he gently runs his hand up and down the base of your spine, "maybe it's time, y/n..."

you're overwhelmed and that isn't what you want to hear. you know he knows better than that. you know it. 

you slam loki against the wall and throw a punch right next to his face in rage, "you don't get to decide for me!"

he never could control you, not that he exactly ever tried. nonetheless, he finds himself fighting for your embrace as you scream at him before finally accepting his hold in exhaustion. 

"love is one of the most powerful beings in the world, y/n... you can't keep fighting it," it was more than just love, you knew that deep down but there were so many reasons you did what you did and loki knows that too as he continues, "the spell only worked because you stayed away."

he's right. it's been a decade since you last laid eyes on bucky and even then, it's been 80 years since you were last together, kind of. it's complicated and hard to explain even to yourself but so much has changed since the first day you met. 

"it worked for long enough, so please don't raise your voice at me princess." you managed to  forget loki was lecturing you as you look up at him in response. you both knew this day would come but loki loved you and you loved him. wasn't that enough?

"I want - I need to forget." part of you wishes this wasn't the first solution that comes to mind, part of you wishes that it was simpler than this but it's not. "I need a stronger spell. now."

loki sighs, he wants more than anything for you to be happy but he forgets so quickly how much your happiness together has meant to you.

 the thing about loki is he has experienced what he has called 'true love' long before he ever met you and he's convinced that the man you desperately continue to try to forget is your true love. james buchanan barnes. 

"he still loves y-", you quickly cover his mouth. 

"don't." your voice was stern. "are you going to help me or not?"

the last spell you did was 10 years ago and you didn't just erase your memories of bucky, you erased your entire identity. you became someone new. someone without the burden or knowledge of your past, powers and pain. you want that back. 

you once again find yourself lost in thought as only the end of loki's sentence catches your ear, "but only until -", you cut him off, you know he can help you forget but there's a but. 

"until what?" you ask. 

"until you fall in love with each other again", he answers watching for your reaction. 

you know he is both waiting and possibly wanting to see even a moment of hesitation from you but you continue, "we won't. now please, can we just do this?"

"and make me forget my powers too, I'm not ready - I can't -", you look at your hands and sigh. this is for the best. the avengers don't know who you are. not yet anyway. 

loki nods, and whispers the spell to recite in your ear. it's not easy for him, none of this has ever been but the life you built together has meant everything in the world to you. it always will.

"I do love you," you say as you gently kiss his lips. 

he looks down at your hand and creates an illusion of a wedding band on your finger. 

"I know princess, but I'll never be james."