Endosymbiosis

34. Fear

The leaders of the revolution and I - together with Plumala, the newest component, but equally as important as the others with her army of columbas - climbed the stairs carved out of the rock and gathered at the top of the slope. I sat on the grass and took a deep breath of the cool night breeze, absorbing the stars above, the singing of insects in the dark, the melody miles below of the ocean waves crashing against the slope.

We sat around a spherical fire and passed drinks, laughter and stories along. Even for a few hours, the weights of war no longer existed; and there we were friends, though never forever.

"Arkadi! You should participate more often!"

"He's a very busy human, Lupan." Korrok grumbled, because even today he hated that whenever I decided to stay, I never really did. "Fighting for a battle beyond ours."

And I wasn't the type to be missed.

"At least what moves him still brings him to our path from time to time..." Deinos said, wisely. "For you to see that, of all the caves of Venerna, one still awaits your return."

I looked down at the white knuckles of my fingers around a glass. It was so much easier just being a disposable human... Why did they have to make me feel so guilty about choices I'd never been able to escape?

At that moment, Doxy appeared on the grass, joining us with cautious steps and saving me from that conversation. Whistles and howls celebrated her arrival - she had won the challenge of the revolution's leaders after all, and now she was one of us... Though I still didn't know how much I was one of them...

I made room for her beside me and Doxy sat on the circle. I sent her a look, silently asking what had changed her mind, and she just shrugged with a shy smile that glowed in front of the fire. She really wasn't the kind of person to run away from a good challenge.

"Apparently you are truly brave, sapiens." Korrok teased, raising his drink. "Fighting the beasts is easy. The hard part is to drink with them!"

Laughter and roars filled the night. And for a moment, I swore that the entire Empire in the stars above could hear us celebrate... Only to rob us of that joy later.

Deinos walked over and gave her a glass with his many arms. He offered to fill it for her with that drink from the barrel they usually made me carry upstairs, and Doxy asked me with her eyes if she should accept it. My smile was answer enough for her to tip the burning drink down her throat... And more celebrations took over the night.

"Now go back to the story, Deinos! Don't run away from it!" Lupan said. "Keep telling while you fill my glass!"

"In fact, I think it's Arkadi's turn now." Deinos ran away. Wise indeed.

"What kind of story?" Doxy asked and Plumala replied, half scared, half excited:

"They're telling terrifying stories from their pasts."

"And the others have to guess if they really happened or if they are just lies." Lupan added, eager to win again. Even without eyes he got it right more than anyone, which I used to say was because he sniffed the lies in the air... And because he was addicted to the scent of defeat from those around him.

Doxy raised a razor-sharp eyebrow and then hissed:

"So let's see if you're a really good liar, Arkadi Phaga."

Everyone cheered again, loud as if the universe were already ours so we didn't have to fear its secrets. I surrendered and took a long sip of the drink, because the tales of my past came out easier with it, until I let a story slip away from me: