Always Something There to Remind Me (A Black Lightning Jen X Khalil Fanfic)

Chapter Ten- Letting Go

Chapter Ten- Letting Go 

Jen's POV

Akashic Valley dorms, 3 hours later.

It was the look in Khalil's eyes that ultimately made Jen decide that there was no point in trying to get him to remember all that they used to be to each other. When she had seen the alarm interspersed with fear cross his face as her eyes glowed while she tried to use her powers, she reached her tipping point. He had never looked at her like that, had never been scared of her. Out of everyone in her life, he was her ride or die and always had her back, no matter what dumb shit she did. But now...

It was enough to make Jen realize that this Khalil was not her Khalil. Over the years, he had changed somehow, and she no longer knew him, the same way he no longer knew her. It had just taken her longer to realize it. Jen had spent her entire life being accused of not knowing when to stop, of being stubborn and headstrong when she wanted something, but this time, she was the one pumping the brakes. Khalil's visceral reaction to her- it was a rejection, and it made her feel small as a scurrying ant and sick inside.

She couldn't bring herself to go back on campus right after her encounter with Khalil. There was too much to think about, and Jen needed time to herself to sort through what had happened, and file everything in its appropriate place in the messy archive in her mind. So, she walked around the Valley, stumbling upon an old, rickety observatory that towered up into the sky. The entrance to the stairs leading up had been boarded off, but Jen, suddenly struck with the compulsion to be as close to the ionosphere as she could without flying up there, jumped over the fence, brushing away the splinters on her hands absently. She had always loved being high, both literally and metaphorically, and as she huddled on the broken-down balcony alarm of the observatory, looking down on Akashic Valley in all its glory, Jen found herself missing her favorite spot on the roof with a staggering intensity that made tears come to her eyes. Not her being homesick already! Her parents and Anissa would never let her live this down if they found out.

Sometime later, Jen was back on campus. Dourly, she opened the door to the room she shared with Quinn, hoping that the girls were getting ready for their double date in Angie's room, and she could just smoke, watch cartoons for the rest of the night and not think about anything. But Quinn was on her bed, straightening her weave diligently, and she glanced up as Jen trudged into the room, feeling worse for wear.

It wasn't just the Khalil angle, it was her powers disappearing, just when she'd needed them most. Jen didn't know what to think, and she threw herself on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, not even bothering to kick off her sneakers.

"Hey, girl," Quinn said, as bubbly as ever. Jen smiled half-heartedly. At least some things never changed. "That was a long ass errand!" She smiled knowingly. "Tell the truth, you were looking for an Akashic Valley weed plug, right?"

Turning so that she was lying on her side and facing Quinn, Jen said, "Huh?" as her brow wrinkled.

"You left brunch saying you were running an errand, but it's 3 hours later-." Quinn paused, and stared at Jen like there was egg on her face. She frowned a little. "Jen, are you okay?"

Jen sighed, the words jingling in her ears. She was sick and tired of people asking if she was okay. Quinn meant well, but her question reminded Jen of Khalil asking if she needed a wellness check. A wellness check, for God's sake! It would have been laughable if it wasn't so condescending. "I don't know."

"Did something happen?"

Jen's chuckle came out pancake flat, with no humor. "Yeah, you could say that."

Quinn dropped the flat iron carelessly onto the side table and scooted forward till she was teetering on the edge of her bed, her eyes almost boring a hole through Jen, they were that intense. "What's wrong?"