𝐇𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞, 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭..

Chapter 20

Groupchat
Sy- lucas is back
S- so yeah
S- we will continue to be friends.
Rae- i hate him
Bret- I SWEAR TO GOOOOOOOD
Jodi- sykkuno, what did he do?
S- nothing, he came back
S- that's that, it doesn't matter
B- it does matter.. we can tell
R- sykk talk to us
S- maybe tomorrow? okay? i promise.
S- just let me have today to think <3
R- it you're sure
J- love you
B- tomorrow we're texting you, no exceptions
S- that's fine
S- i love you guys

Sykkuno's phone notifications
Message from Bret: goodnight <3 you don't have to answer just let..
Message from Corpse: text me! text me back please answer the phone
Missed call from Corpse
Missed facetime call from Corpse
Message from Corpse: i'm begging you, just let me know if you're okay

Corpse-Sykkuno DMs:
C- sykkuno
C- you didn't have to go
C- i invited you
C- and you only
C- my dad was sad that you left
C- please, i told lucas to go
C- come back
C- sykkuno? are you okay?
C- text me! text me back please, answer the phone
C- i'm begging you, just let me know if you're okay
S- corpse, i could've been sleeping
C- i know you, plus read receipts
S- i'm dumb
C- no no you aren't
C- i am
C- are you okay?
S- i'm okay..
C- you're lying
S- what? no
C- yes, you're using '...', meaning you're either sad or angry
C- i'm coming over
S- what? corpse no
S- it's 2 in the morning
C- and? i'm coming
S- corpse!!

Sykkuno's journal:
PLEASE, IT'S 2AM AND HE SAID THAT HE'S COMING. WHERE IS HIS DAD?!?!
HELP ME KDLSJKDJS

Sykkuno sighed as he ran a finger though his wet hair, he paced the room as he texted Corpse once more: don't come, I'm fine.

No reply.

He huffed, throwing his head back in frustration before hearing a tap on his bedroom window, and then another one. Sykkuno furrowed his eyebrows. *Did he really come at 2 am in the morning?*. He walked towards his window, pulling it up as he looked down to see the curly-headed boy. "Corpse?" he asked. "What are you doing here? This wasn't necessary."

"You were crying and sad, of course it was necessary." Corpse mumbled before climbing up a tree towards his window.

"Be careful!" Sykkuno said, holding on Corpse as he made his way inside.

"This isn't the first time I've snuck into your room and you know it." Corpse smiled.

"Yes but that's different! It was at 5pm because I was grounded, not at 2 in the morning with no light out" he hissed.

"Calm down babe" he smiled, "I'm perfectly fine, see?" Corpse said, holding his arms up and turning to show him that he had not a single mark on him.

"Yeah, yeah" Sykkuno rolled his bloodshot eyes before throwing himself on the bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down next to him. "Are you feeling sick again?".

"No,no" Sy lied, covering the blood-stained pillow and scattered thorns on his bed. "Please don't worry.. I'm okay Corpse, I'm just-" he ran out of words. *Just what?* he asked himself.

"Don't lie." Corpse pleaded. "We promised we wouldn't lie." he scooted closer to him, holding onto his delicate hands. "Please, tell me the truth."

Sykkuno swallowed harshly as he tried to calm the raging ocean of pain inside him. *You can do it*, he thought, *you've done it so many times before. Just hold it in*. "I'm okay" he whimpered, holding back what was so desperately trying to spill out of him, again.

"Babe.. Sykkuno. I know that's not the truth." Corpse leaned forward, holding Sy's cheek the way he did earlier today, and his heartbeat picked up pace, just as before. "Tell me" his voice sounded broken, desperate.

And that's when Sykkuno finally broke, he let out a painful sob. "It's like I can see the thing that I desperately want, that I need, but every time-" he shook his head, starting over. "I'm so close to it, it's like I'm reachng and I'm so.. so close. I can almost touch it. But something comes along and pulls it farther away from me." he started. "I try and try, but it's never enough.. I can never have enough. Never do enough.. Never be enough!.", he held onto his chest as he shook from desperate sobs. Sykkuno wasn't the type to cry like this, even during their fight at the bowling alley, all he let out was a few tears, but this was everything he ever bottled up inside of him. Every drop of pain seeping from his pores. "-and I'm just so tired of feeling this way. It's exhausting."

"Sykkuno-" Corpse said in surprise as he wrapped his arms around Sy, he held him tightly as he continued to shake. "Sykkuno, baby."

Sykkuno cried into Corpse's shirt, his sobs muffled as Corpse pulled him closer, he hummed soft words of comfort in his ear and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"Sykkuno." he pulled away to look at him. "You are incredibly selfless." he whispered, smiling softly as he stared into Sy's brown eyes. Now, really looking at them. Corpse noticed how different they were from before, they held hope just a few hours ago, but now as he stared into Sykkuno's eyes, it looked like something was killing him from the inside, but he also saw a spark. A tiny spark behind those lashes that showed Corpse the Sykkuno he knew and loved was still in there. Sy wasn't completely broken. He was not the boy who threw up blood in the bowling alley and who Corpse didn't talk to for weeks but instead, he was the boy who gave Corpse, Kuno. The boy who Corpse spent this last week with. The boy, Corpse was so desperately in love with, it could kill him. "You need to stop worrying about everybody else, and think of what you want. What you need."

"I can't get what I want," Sy whispered, defeated. "Or what I need."

"-and what is that?" he asked, softly.

Sykkuno swallowed harshly, feeling the pain of thorns that continued to scrape his throat. He rubbed his hands anxiously, as he saw Corpse getting closer. But unlike a few hours ago, Sykkuno know that it wouldn't happen, *This isn't a fairytale, he's not going to kiss you.*

"Sykkuno."

"Yes?"

"What is it you want... need?" Corpse asked, his gaze never wavering as he stared at the beauty that sat in front of him. Everything about him was beautiful. He looked at him and felt a sense of peace. He knew that he loved him but there was a part of him that didn't want to, because if he admitted to himself, that he was in love with Sy, then that meant everything had to change. It meant he would break up with Lucas- break his heart. It meant risking his friendship with Sykkuno, the most important person in his life. But in that moment, with him, there was no way for him to deny how he felt, nothing had ever made as much sense as this.

"I don-"

Before Sykkuno could finish, Corpse leaned in, making his breath hitch in his throat. "Corpse wha-". Corpse ignored him, as his fingers fell upon his soft cheek and slowly caressed his face. He stared into Sy's eyes once more, feeling his insides turn to jelly. The spark in his eyes was getting brighter.

"Corpse, you're really close..." Sykkuno whispered.

"Do you want me to get farther away?" he asked.

"No."

"Good."

Without a moment of hesitation, he pulled him in, capturing his lips in a kiss, it was desperate, without being demanding. He laid his hand around his waist as he brought him closer. Sy held Corpse's cheek softly, making sure not to press hard. They both felt as if they allowed their movements to be harsh or rough might make the other disappear. Become this moment- this moment right here, was precious and surreal to the both of them. They both wanted it to last forever, to capture it like a photo and never let it leave. They longed for it all to begin and end right there with both of them together, connected. 𝘐𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵.

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Well, well, well we got the kiss :D! Couple chapters left :), thank you for being here <3