i hate that i love you • reddie

•two•

"and i can't wait to hit the bed but tomorrow makes me scared cause it's not the same anymore"

eddie continued to toss and turn in his bed. he sighed and looked over at the alarm on his nightstand 12:03am. he groaned and stared up at the ceiling. eddie never stayed up this late on a school night, but the only thing on his mind was
richie.
stupid richie. stupid richie and his stupid mouth and stupid face and stupid personality and stupid humor.  stupid richie who made him cry for hours when he got home. eddies hand went to his face sighing.
eddie didn't know if he could face richie tomorrow i mean he had 4 classes with him, and what would he tell the other losers?
i mean were him and richie still friends? would richie talk to the other losers? would the losers talk to him or richie? will richie leave the group? would richie talk to him? does richie still consider them friends?
eddie couldn't stop his thoughts. he quietly and quickly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. turning on the sink and splashing his face with water. once done he grabbed a towel and wiped off his face feeling refreshed. then eddie thought of a memory that happened right here in the bathroom around 5 months ago.
•
richie had been biking to eddies house for a sleepover when he zoned out looking at the sky and fell over onto the road scraping his arm and leg.
"ah fuck" richie cursed looking down at his injuries. luckily he was only a couple houses down from the kasparak's house.
richie wobbled his way over to the front door throwing his bike on the front lawn and knocked three times. couple seconds later an adorable looking eddie kasparak opened the door with his brightest smile.
"hey eds!" richie smiled trying to hide his pain. eddie looked at richie suspiciously eyeing him up down catching sight of the mark on his left arm and leg. eddies eyes visibly widened.
"richie omg let's get you inside we have to clean you up. you could get infected and we could have to cut off your limb and-"
richie stared longing at eddie who continued to ramble on about diseases and what not while dragging richie up the stairs and into the bathroom.
eddie turned on the light and pointed to the counter for richie to sit. having done this many times before eddie opened up the medicine cabinet pulling out a few items.
"what did you do this time" eddie questioned pouring some liquid on a cotton pad.
"i mean your moms a little rough in bed" richie smirked eddie glaring at him to give a real answer.
"i fell off my bike on the way here" richie admits as eddie placed the cotton pad on richies leg cleaning around the wound.
the two sat in comfortable silence while eddie cleaned richie's wound putting a bandage on his leg.
"ok now your arm" eddie stated pointing towards richies arm to which richie puts his arm out for him. eddie starts the same process he did for richie's leg on his arm.
richie stares at the shorter one noticing how calculated he was being. he really appreciated eddie and everything he did for the boy though he didn't know if he'd ever admit that to the smaller one.
"why are you staring at me like that"
richie was snapped out of his gaze realizing eddie was done patching him up.
"oh i-i um" richies hands went to his face
"don't go all bill on me here" eddie smiled "what is it?"
richie removed his hands and looked at the seemingly perfect boy in front of him. his soft smile giving him all the comfort and courage he needed.
"thank you" he paused "for everything you have ever done for me" richie smiled
eddie stared in slight confusion. blinking his honey eyes a few times.
"what?" he questioned
richie smiled even wider. "thank you. i mean you have done so much for me over the years and you some how have put up with me for this long, and you're always making sure i'm ok and i'm not hurt and when i am you fix me right up. i just feel like i've never thanked you for any of this. so thank you."
eddies eyes brimmed with tears before leaping and wrapping his arm around richie's neck. richie almost fell over from the weight of eddie but quickly wrapped his arms around eddie's lower back.
both squeezing each other as if they would never let go, and maybe they never would. maybe they would stay like this forever. in each other's arms for all of eternity.
but life doesn't work that way.
eddie pulled back looking richie straight in his eyes.
"i love you"
three words that the friends never really used with each other but in that moment it was all eddie could feel.
in this moment all he knew was that he loved richie tozier and he had to tell him.
"i-i love you too eds"
eddie smiled looking down "don't call me that"
•
eddie looked down at the counter with tears in his eyes remembering the day perfectly. he had never felt so much love for the boy in front of him before.
the rest of the time they hung out that day eddie thought maybe that love for richie was something more, but he just shook the thought off.
eddie thought now that maybe it was something more for both of them.
i mean richie and eddie had both come out as gay so maybe, but eddie didn't like richie like that. right?
eddie shook his head wiping his tears and turing off the light to the bathroom. he settled in his bed pulling the covers over himself.
eddie continued to stare at the ceiling dreading what's to come of tomorrow. he turned on his side thoughts returning back to one thing.
did he like richie as more then a friend?
but it didn't matter because richie was no longer even considered a friend to eddie.

this chapter is a little short and i feel like some parts don't flow well but i really wanted to update so.