after this night (camren)

5. Lauren

The very least I could do was say I was sorry. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and began tapping out a message to the woman I missed more than I had ever expected.

......

As I stepped off the flight from Florida to California the next morning, my email burst with a flurry of messages.

First, a note from Zayn about the Bainbridge's and how the deal was coming together for their next film. Then one from my friend Lucy, reminding me that we had tickets to the theatre in a week. Damn, I'd nearly forgotten we were going to see an adaptation of The Usual Suspects for the stage. Next, a quick update from an actor client, Veronica, who was starring in that play and also opening a hip restaurant in Los Angeles. I had been advising her on the deal. Veronica was a busy girl and I liked it that way. Then the note came from Normani Kordei, the dancer I'd met with in Miami after spending one more night with Camila.

One unforgettable night that had as much to do with her answering the door wearing only stockings and a shirt as it did with her finally starting to open up to me.

But that had all been a lie, I reminded myself, willing my heart to fossilize when it came to her. Telling myself not to linger on the memories of how she seemed to be sharing her fears, and inviting me into her life, because that was all upended when she lied about who I was to that thug on the street.

My fingers tightened on my phone, gripping it harder, as if I were channelling my frustration into the screen. I needed to get to Los Angeles as soon as possible, make a pit stop at my boxing gym, and then get my ass to work. That was my plan of attack; the way to rid Camila from my mind. Head down, nose in work, client meetings - the recipe to numb me to the effect of that woman.

I scrolled through Normani's note, a quick summary of what she was most looking for in her next contract with the TV network that carried her dance competition, and then I read Normani's previous contract that the host had handled on her own. As you can probably surmise, negotiating on my own behalf is not my expertise. Happy to have you doing it for me going forward, Normani had written.

I replied quickly to Normani, eager to prove my value to a new client. That the girl was marrying Camila's best friend in a month didn't factor into my decision. Because I wasn't thinking about Camila, not as I walked past security, responding to a note, not as I found my driver while answering another email, and certainly not as I slid into the backseat of a town car that would zip me into the city.

Then I saw a new email land in my inbox. From her. the subject line gave nothing away; Hi. But Pavlovian response kicked in, and I opened it before I could think. Because seeing her name still felt like a damn good thing, still held the promise of a sexy note, a naughty line, or a sweet nothing. But more than any of those options, it held the promise of her.

Lauren,

Hi. I'm lying awake in bed thinking of last night. How only 24 hours ago you were her with me. How much better it was to sleep with your arms around me, all safe and warm and snug. How much I would love to have you here again. But I know that won't happen. And I understand. I truly understand. If I were you, I would hate me too. If I were you, I'd be suspicious as hell. And I probably wouldn't trust me either. So I get 100 percent where you're coming from and I wish there were another way. I want you in my life so badly that I can feel this ache where you're supposed to be. But I know I can't have you, and I'm sorry that I can't be open right now. You deserve more than this. More than me. All I will say is this sucks, and if I could turn back the time and do certain things over, there's a lot I would change.

But I wouldn't change a second with you.

Wow. I just re-read my note. I think that's the mushiest I've ever been with anyone. Damn, you did a number on me, and I've got it bad for you. I'm hitting send while I still have the guts in me to do so, even though I will probably regret it. Except this is all true.

Xoxo

Camila.

I dropped my head in my hands and cursed. A wave of frustration and longing rolled through me, and I knew I should turn the damn phone off and ignore her. But this woman, she was under my skin. I hated lies but I'd be lying to myself if I pretended I'd forgotten her in a day.

Camila,

I don't hate you. The farthest thing from it.

Lauren.

I hit send before the regret washed over me, as it eventually would, I was sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

guyssss... i thought id come back slightly early, expect like 3/4 more chapters continuing tmo im not sure how many

alsooo,,, did you guys see the cinderella post from camila today, i was fangirling so much omw home 😭😂😂