Running on Insulin

Chapter 23

I held Samantha as she cried. But it was tears of joy and incredulity. I was crying, too. So was Jenna. We were all so happy that this was happening.

"I'm glad we could bring such good news," Marie said, smiling. "Samantha has needed some good news."

"We can't thank you enough," Jenna said.

Samantha clung to me as we talked about the things we would need to do while we waited for the adoption to be finalized. Jenna was rubbing Samantha's back, listening to what we needed to do.

Eventually, Marie and the social worker from the hospital left. Marie said she'd be in touch to set up her next visitation and next steps. Jenna walked them out because Samantha wouldn't let go of me.

Jenna came back and sat back down beside Samantha.

"So, didn't we tell you they wouldn't be taking you away?" she said to Samantha, a smile on her tear stained face.

"Is this really real?" Samantha asked.

"It's really real, kiddo," I said, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

"I really don't have to go back to my dad?"

"You really don't.  You're here to stay," Jenna said.

"We should go out and celebrate tonight," I said.

"We should also consider having lunch soon. Someone here needs to keep her blood sugar up," Jenna said.

"I'm too happy to be hungry," Samantha said.

Jenna smiled at her.

"I bet. We don't have to eat right now. Maybe we should check your sugar?"

"Why?" Samantha asked.

"You had breakfast a couple of hours ago, you haven't had anything since, and you might need a snack to bring your sugar up. In case you're going low."

"I'm fine. I don't need to test," Samantha insisted, tensing up against me.

"Samantha, you know you need to test. Especially when your emotions have been stressed. You were worried about Marie taking you away from us, and then got the complete opposite. Let's test to make sure you're in range."

"No!" She said, pushing away from me and standing up.

"Samantha," I said, calmly. "Let's just do a quick test and be done with."

"NO!" She screamed. "I. DON'T. WANT. TO!"

"Okay, Samantha. It's okay that you don't want to. But we need to to make sure you're okay. And I'm starting to think you might be going low. So I want to check," Jenna said.

I looked carefully at Samantha. She was going to bolt. I could see it in how her eyes were darting around the room. I moved closer to her slowly.  I looked at Jenna and tried to convey that she had to block Samantha from running out of the room. I'm not sure she caught my look, but I kept moving towards Samantha slowly.

When I was nearly right beside her, I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me. She fought me like she had the time she found out she was going to a therapist. She knocked me over and the two of us were on the floor. Samantha was screaming and trying to get away.  I managed to get her arms to her side and sit us up. I got my legs over hers and leaned back so my back was against the couch.

"Samantha," Jenna said calmly, as I held Samantha tightly. "I'm going to test your blood sugar now. You're going to feel a pinch on your finger."

I held Samantha's arm so she couldn't pull it away, and so Jenna could get one of her fingers. I saw her working as quickly as she could while I held Samantha who was trying to push or pull herself away from me. Jenna poked her finger, put it on the test strip and then sat back while the machine counted down.

Samantha continued to cry and thrash around as I sang quietly and calmly in her ear.

"Ty. It's 42. We need to get some sugar in her. Fast."

"Try a juice box," I said.

Jenna jumped up and grabbed a juice box from the fridge and came over.

"Samantha, drink this," Jenna said. "Your blood sugar is really low."

Samantha refused to drink. I continued to talk to her calmly, and sing quietly trying to calm the agitated teenager down.

"Samantha, it's okay," I said. "Drink some juice and you'll feel much better."

She continued to fight. I really didn't want to have to call an ambulance again since we knew how to treat this, but getting Samantha to comply was the problem.

"Come on sweetie. Just a sip, okay?  Just a little juice," I murmured in her ear.

Jenna brought the juice box up to her and she took a mouthful, which the the spat back at Jenna.

"Samantha, come on. That's not nice," I said as Jenna wiped her face with her sweatshirt. Jenna brought the juice box back to Samantha and as soon as she took a mouthful, I covered her mouth.

"Swallow the juice, Samantha. You'll feel better. Come on sweet girl. Let's get you feeling more yourself, huh?" I said.

I felt her swallow the juice and then she continued thrashing around and screaming more.

Tears were forming in Jenna's eyes. She knew Samantha wasn't in control but it hurt her to see how hurt Samantha was. Her father had done so much damage to her psyche that even though defiance isn't uncommon with low blood sugar, his treatment of her exacerbated how she handled - or didn't - lows and highs.

It took several tries and a lot of patience and strength, but we got Samantha to drink the whole juice box. I continued to hold her until she calmed down. Jenna started a timer for 15 minutes to recheck Samantha's blood. I held her and sang quietly to her.

She did start to calm down eventually, and Jenna indicated she seemed to be falling asleep. Because her sugar had been low, I decided if she was going to sleep, she'd sleep in my arms. I wanted to make sure she was just asleep.

Jenna tested Samantha's sugar again and sighed.

"75," she said. "Normal."

While Samantha slept in my arms, Jenna made some phone calls to make appointments with Samantha's doctors. We needed to meet her Pediatrician and her endocrinologist.

Those, she got set up both for Monday while Samantha was at school. We'd drop her at school and go see the doctors and find out everything we'd need to know, including some of her medical history.

"You know," I said to Jenna, as I stroked Samantha's hair. "I find it interesting that her dad would make her ration her insulin but still made sure to take her to her doctors' appointments. Like, he literally did the bare minimum to keep her alive and to save face I guess that he wasn't too bad a guy."

"He definitely made it look like he cared in everyone else's eyes," Jenna said.

A little while later, Samantha started to stir. She looked around and looked confused.

"Why am I on the floor?" She asked, sitting up and turning around to look at me.

"You knocked us over when you tried to bolt so we couldn't test your sugar. You got pretty low. I'm pretty sure you didn't realize what you were doing."

"I'm sorry," she said, her head down.

"It's alright, sweetheart. We'll work on things in time," Jenna said. "We have all the time in the world, almost-daughter."

Samantha and Jenna smiled at that.

We let Samantha get her bearings back, and then sat around deciding on lunch and where we should celebrate for dinner.