It was clear when we pulled up to the fancier restaurant that I'd been thinking of, that Samantha was uncomfortable. She saw people going in wearing suits and dresses and when we parked, she wouldn't get out of the car.
"Samantha, honey, if you're not comfortable, we can go somewhere else," Jenna said.
Samantha looked like she was about to panic.
"Can we? Please? I'm afraid to eat here," she said, her voice shaking.
"Sure honey. Where would you rather go? Anywhere you want. Except McDonald's because I'd really like to eat somewhere a bit nicer than there," I smiled.
"Can we please go back to the T.G.I.Fridays? I promise I won't spill the water again."
"We can," I said, getting back in the car.
We drove to the mall and went into the restaurant. Samantha visibly relaxed. Everything was going to take time. We couldn't take anything for granted with her.
We went inside and as soon as we were seated, Jenna handed Samantha her kit.
"I don't know what I want to eat yet," Samantha said.
"I know. I'm just handing it to you so that when you decide, you can make your calculations, and dose your insulin," Jenna said.
"Oh," Samantha said.
She went through the menu and her fingers moved as she calculated carbs. It was kind of amazing to watch.
It looked like she'd made a decision, as she closed her menu.
"Okay, test and dose," I said quietly, so as not to draw attention to her.
"Do you know what you're having?" Jenna asked Sam.
"I was thinking the hamburger with fries?" She asked.
"Sure. Sounds good. Want a soda with that?"
"Can I?" She asked incredulously.
"Of course. Diet Coke I guess?"
"Yeah, obviously," Samantha said.
She tested, and really had very little hesitation this time. But she was still struggling to dose her insulin properly. I watched as she stared at her pen, willing herself to turn the dial.
"How many units do you need?" Jenna asked her quietly.
"Eight," she whispered.
"Okay, you're at four. So you just need four more," Jenna cooed.
Samantha sighed. I watched as she turned the dial on the back of the pen.
"Good job," Jenna whispered.
Sam gave herself her shot.
We placed our orders and the server brought waters. Samantha looked at her cup and smirked.
"I'm thirsty, but someone probably doesn't want to wear a glass of water again," she joked.
"You know, I didn't shower today, so it wouldn't be so terrible," I joked back. Samantha smiled. I loved seeing her smile.
Samantha picked up her cup and took a sip, without spilling it all over the table, and grinned.
We ate our dinners, and talked. We got Samantha laughing again, and it was a great sound. We learned so much about Samantha - we learned that she was definitely a tomboy, though we weren't sure if that was because she was raised by a father who refused to recognize she's a girl, or was just her nature. She liked our music, and the music of many of our friends' music. But she didn't listen to much, because she wasn't allowed to own a phone or an mp3 player. She either listened with friends at school, or whatever came on the radio.
She didn't have any favourite TV shows, because her dad never let her watch TV, which is why when we watched stuff on TV, she didn't have an opinion on what we watched.
She liked to read, but only read books she could get out of the school library or what she had to read at school. She didn't have a library card, because she wasn't allowed to go anywhere other than home after school.
It was interesting learning the things she was interested in, and sad to hear how her dad made it impossible for her to enjoy anything.
She loved science and English class, didn't much care for math, but did okay. She said she usually passed, anyway. She liked music, but didn't play an instrument. Because, of course, her dad wouldn't let her practice.
"I almost failed music last year because I could only practice at school at lunch or breaks. Luckily my teacher was really nice and let me practice."
"Well," I said. "We have a whole studio in the basement you can practice in. Remind me to show it to you - but it's off limits unless one of us is down there with you, okay?"
"Okay," Samantha said.
We finished our dinners, paid the check and decided to wander in the mall for a little while. There was a Barnes & Noble, so I thought we could take Samantha in there. Maybe buy her some of her own books.
We wandered around the store and I watched as Samantha looked at the books. She put her hands behind her back and was careful not to touch anything.
"Anything interest you?" I asked her, coming up behind her. She startled.
"No. No. Nothing," she said, looking at a book series.
"Not even that book series you're drooling over?"
"I don't need it," she said, looking away.
"Look, kiddo, hopefully everything is going to work out and the adoption will go through. We want to get you stuff. We want the house to feel like your home, too. Because it is. You can make your room your space. Oh. That reminds me, we should probably get you a computer for school, huh?"
"I don't need a computer. I do all my work in my notebooks," she said.
"Nonsense. We'll get you a computer," I said.
"You really don't have to," Samantha said, starting to look panicked.
"Samantha, it's okay," I said. "We want to. We can, and we want to. Life's going to be different now, for you."
I turned to Jenna.
"What do you think? Apple?"
"Might as well. Her phone's an Apple phone, they'll sync up," she said.
"I don't need that expensive a computer," Samantha said. "Really. I don't deserve it."
"Of course you do," I said, looking in Samantha's eyes. "Samantha, you deserve good things. And now that you're living with us, you're going to be able to have good things."
Samantha looked down.
"Now, we're going to get you a computer for school, okay? Because you deserve it and because everyone needs a computer."
Samantha sighed.
"Okay, I guess."
We went into the Apple Store and looked at the computers. One of the employees came over and asked to help us. We mentioned that we were getting the computer for Samantha for school, and asked which he recommended.
About fifteen minutes later, we were out of the store with a new computer and a very quiet 13 year old. It was going to take work to make sure she learned that she was worthy.
YOU ARE READING
Running on Insulin
FanfictionSamantha's life had never been easy. Her abusive father was the only family she had left. Her mom had died when Sam was just a kid, and when she was eight, Sam had been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. The healthcare costs enraged her father and made...
