Moira - [Kaeya x Reader x Diluc]

Chapter 7

"I can't."
"Bullshit."
"No, you don't understand."

The stench of alcohol flooded the bar as the late night rush began.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

My hair was still damp from the storm rattling at the windows of the Cat's Tail. Taking a long sip of the pungent drink clasped firmly in my sweaty hands, I glanced away from the ebony haired woman in front of me.

"Just tell me about it, won't you?"

Timidly, I flicked my gaze back.

"There was this one time, when I was about 19, I was walking along the edge of the woods. I heard this loud sound from behind me. So, I turned around, and found myself right behind a hunter, and he had his arrow pointed right at this deer. That's a common scare tactic, you know, they'll make loud sounds to stun the deer. And for a split second, I was looking right at the deer's face. God, I'll never forget the look in its eyes, like it had seen death standing before it." I glanced up briefly, "And for some reason that deer is all I could think about after he left."

"I'm confused." The woman said after some few seconds.

"Fiona, there's no better way for me to explain it." I groaned, sighing heavily. "Well, why don't you explain from the top." Fiona suggested gently. "There's no top for me to start from." I mumbled in annoyance, knowing fully well there was, I was just too stubborn and maybe even too scared to try and recollect those moments.

"Well, that's fine then." Fiona turned away, "But I will have to cut your alcohol supply soon." She said, giving a sly glance to the half empty glass on the bar.

"I can't go back because I told him I wanted nothing to do with him. The man pours his heart out to me, and I shut him out of my life completely." I finally confessed.

"Oh my."

I nodded solemnly, "He kisses me, and apologizes to me," I heaved a heavy sigh, "And I tell him to get lost."

The full scene rewinded in my head.
~
"Now, what were you going to tell me?" Kaeya questioned slyly.

I guess part of my heart did sink, was it really just a distraction, or did that kiss mean something?

"Why'd you do that." I spoke up finally.

"I don't know..." The captain faltered, "It just felt right." The answer came out as more of a question than a statement,

"Kaeya.." I knew what I wanted to say, but somehow the words wouldn't push past my tongue, "Why don't we talk this out like adults." His eyes flicked to the ground, "What do you want me to say?" He paused for a moment. "Or more so, what have I not said already that you haven't blown off."

My breath hitched in my throat.

"You know I regret it, and you should know it hurt me as much as it did you. Who in their right mind would enjoy abandoning one of their best and honestly only real friends. Don't you get it? What could I possibly do that I haven't already? I'm sorry, I don't know how much more I can apologize, and the words probably sound stale at this point but there's nothing more I can say, and there's nothing more I can do."

Ever since I was a kid, my mother used to tell me that anger was simply a disguise for sorrow. And I guess we had both put that saying into practice in that moment. Because the look on Kaeya's face was cold and cracked, and the only words I could manage to say were, "I don't ever want to speak to you again."
~
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A/N:
Well.... surprise!! I decided to write this chapter completely on a whim at 3 am listening to Phoebe Bridgers on a loop, so really just a lot of emotional instability combined with the insufferable heat of an east coast summer. But apart from that, I do think that I will be continuing this book, and this is for a couple reasons. Number one being, it's summer and I have nothing to do, number two, I literally have not been able to fall asleep for the past like week it's horrific, number three, I redownloaded genshin so the phase is coming back just a little, and finally number 4 I read the AOT ending and I really just need a distraction ... but anyways I'm glad to be starting this up again, seeing all of your supportive and hilarious comments made me remember why I loved writing so much and I'm so so eternally grateful for all of my lovely readers.
Much love,
Misty <3