｡+.*𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗜𝗥*+｡ [𝘿. 𝙈𝘼𝙇𝙁𝙊𝙔]¹

XV. FIGHT CLUB🥊

After I read Harry's mind(--shit, after I fell so deeply and so uncontrollably into his head I almost drowned myself)as he was looking in the Mirror of Erised, and my subsequent breakdown(that I refused to talk about--after a while, Harry got the message and reluctantly dropped it), it became even harder to deny what I could do and I could feel myself cracking. It was also harder to block it out, something I did subconsciously for as long as I was ignoring it, and it was like I was going through a kind of sensory overload. And after what I told Harry in the mirror room, I had to work twice as hard to hide my feelings and act like my usual sarcastic self--because I knew, from now on, he'd look closer than anybody.

The students excitedly flooding Hogwarts castle for the new term both made it worse and gave me things like classes to distract myself with.

I could tell Harry noticed something a bit off about me, but he left it alone--probably assuming I'd come to him if it was anything serious.

Like hearing voices, seeing things, and my mind, more or less, feeling like it's unravelling from the inside out--you know, anything like that.

I know it's bad, and that I need to do something or tell someone before I completely lose it, but I can barely admit it to myself, let alone anybody else.

Thinking you might be able to read minds, in the magical world or not, doesn't seem okay.

It doesn't seem--

Normal.

Anyway, in Harry's defence, he's had a lot on his mind.

Ever since our talk with Dumbledore, he's been having nightmares--dreaming over and over again about our parents vanishing in a flash of green light as a high voice cackled.

"You see, Dumbledore was right," Ron said when Harry told us about his nightmares, "that mirror could drive you mad."

I just went really quiet.

While I haven't been having nightmares, I have been pretty screwed up emotionally. Seeing my mirror self, and what happened with Harry, really messed with my head(the only good thing that came from it all is that--after seeing myself in his head, what I confessed about my reflection in the mirror and how I feel, and him comforting me as I broke down--Harry and I have been feeling kind of closer; I've also been feeling strangely more in sync with him ever since I left his head).

At least Pansy Daphne and Tracey are back--the girls looking startled when I practically tackled them in the Entrance Hall, thanked them for my Christmas presents, and made them promise to never leave me alone in our depressing, empty dorm ever again.

I played it off like I was being melodramatic, and I was just bored, but I honestly missed them.

When Malfoy sauntered over with Crabbe and Goyle and made a snide comment about his new bedtime companion, Hugsy bunny, I could've kis-hugged him. To his bewilderment, I sat next to him at dinner and spent the entire meal goading him into insulting me.