MY TIME

My Time: 37

P.O.V: Royal T

*1 week later*

Therapist: "so have you talked to anyone at all about you coming to therapy or opened up to anybody?"

"yes i have" i said confidently, i told Papi everything after he 'party' and i told india a few things also

Therapist: "thats great Ms.Banks, did you write things down in your journal like i asked?"

"of course" I said handing it to him

I watched as he opened the book and read some pages

Therapist: "this is good Ms.Banks, so detailed and thorough. You finished almost the whole book"

"do i still have to write stuff down?"

Therapist: "no you don't, have you been working on your eating habits?"

"mhm"i hummed

Therapist: "alright, what did you eat for breakfast?"

"a bagel, some fruit, anddd a coffee"

Therapist: "have you had lunch yet?"

"no not yet"

Therapist: "are you planning to?"

"no, I am not"

Therapist: "get something to eat after you leave here, I don't care if its mcdonalds or arbys"

"alright"

Therapist: "so who specifically have you opened up to"

"Bashar and India"

Therapist: "and you told them everything?"

"i told Bashar everything, not india"

Therapist: "why not?"

"i think she'll judge me or worry about me too much"

Therapist: "is there a reason why?"

"no, shes my bestfriend and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me"

Therapist: "was she uncomfortable when you opened up to her a little more"

"i don't think so but we were talking over he phone and I couldn't see her facial expressions"

Therapist: "mhm and why did you Tell Bashar everything?"

"me and him just had that with each other i guess, we are each others therapist"

I watched him open the journal up again and skim through pages

Therapist: "what happened on page 38?"

"I talked to uh- Max again, he said he needed help with something and my dumbass went and did it...."

Therapist: "40?"

"me and von are in a complicated thing right now and i slept with him..."

Therapist: "and when did you write all this down"

"3 nights ago"

"mhm" the therapist hummed

"i feel like such an idiot."

Therapist: "you know what your problem is?"

"I al-"

Therapist: "im going to tell you what it is...you think to much and you let the people you love the most tear you down so much, just because you want to please them and make them feel wanted and comfortable. Its like you don't even care about yourself. im going to tell you something, thoughts are never honest, your emotions are. You ignore the truth for temporary happiness. Max couldn't give a DAMN about you. You always come in here...say you messed up...say that you want this to happen this way and this to happen another way but you will never see what you want"