ethan becomes based

ethan meets the four lords (NOT CLICKBAIT)

ethan was mad as hell now. although earlier he had been sitting on the toilet having a laugh at his situation, he finally realized that this whole thing was a mess. chris stole his daughter and unintentionally made him have to fight monsters in this village, and now two of his fingers were gone. literally what the hell... well, while he was mentally rambling on about how mad he was, he came upon a door with a strange lever next to it. he had to stop being mad for a second and decided to try to pull it.

"Oh grand, ANOTHER local here to ruin my day?" said some random ass voice. ethan whipped around.

"...who are you," he asked. the man he saw looked like a hobo... and maybe even a bit of a homo. no, now wasn't the time to think about that kind of thing.

"don't get it twisted luv, i ain't saying you're a local as in someone from Here. i mean you're like... you're a normie, basic, bland," the man continued.

"don't care and don't remember asking, frankly speaking," ethan mumbled.

"okay, be an anti then. watch this."

ethan didn't do anything because he was really out of it. this ominous man started sticking metal to him and crap but ethan, being himself, just yelled and screamed.

"shut up little twink man, i have to show you to miranda and the others now."

after a bit, ethan regained consciousness and discovered he was being dragged around on some cryptic chain. despite ethan being slender, the cryptic man dragging him around seemed to be having a Lot of trouble. actually, it was probably because this freaking guy tossed a bunch of stupid metal on him. when he noticed ethan was awake, he turned around and gave him a malicious smile... not good.

"don't worry, we're almost there. feel free to complain All You want but i am so not paying attention, i'm too busy streaming BTS songs," the guy said. it almost seemed like he was just talking to himself for entertainment. ethan passed out again because to be honest there was something strangely relaxing about being dragged along like this.

he awoke to see some scary doll in front of him. "holy shit what the fu— oh, okay, it's just a doll," he said.

the doll moved around though so ethan's heart rate spiked up. he heard other people Conversing but couldn't even see who the hell it was because some other mysterious being manifested before him. because this guy got a bit too close to ethan, the little doll thing started yelling at it.

"bruh go away, an ugly beast like you could never impress a twink like him," the doll said. this made the other one hobble away sadly but ethan was too freaking confused about what was going on to care about its feelings. "GUYS LOOK, he's awake now :)" the doll continued.

"how.. did you say the smiley face out loud," ethan coughed.

though the doll ignored his question, it kept screaming until frightening hobo-man from earlier yelled at it.

"do you ever shut the hell up you insolent worm, us grown ups are TRYING to have a chat here," he hissed.

for whatever reason, hobo-man was arguing with this gigantic milf. they appeared to be discussing what to do about ethan himself. he didn't really pay attention because they were Bickering but there was a sudden pause. the cryptic woman in the front of the room went silent and then turned to hobo-man.

"heisenberg, that twink is your responsibility. no, don't kidnap him and take him to your house already, make him work to prove that he can be yassified," the woman said.

the tall lady closer to him got up and huffed a sigh in protest. "mother miranda what... that's SO unfair, heisenberg doesn't even know what the hell to do with a man like that. he's too rough and grimy, i think a lovely woman like myself should be in charge of getting him prepared for the madness to come."