some things are better left unsaid ; shizaya | ✔️

《 6 》

《 6 》

Present Day |

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"Would you stop doing that?"

"What, writing?"

"Yes. It's irritating."

"Whatever."

Ah, hello reader! You're back for another diary entry, are you? Fantastic! It's great that you're here. Namie is being... so irritating.

Why are you so happy, you ask? Well, let's see... Ah, yes. Let's move onto what I was writing before I was interrupted, shall we?

Click!

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Humanity.

A word we all know the meaning of.

No? You don't? Well, it's simple.

It means, 'the state of being human.'

Yes, you reading this are part of humanity, and me, and everybody else. It's that simple.

But what about the people that aren't human? What category do they fall into?

Monsters? Inhumanity?

It makes you wonder, doesn't it?

There's many people that live in Ikebukuro that definitely aren't human. Take the headless rider, for instance. She's definitely not human. But could you count her as a monster?

Because keep in mind, she has human reactions, and lives her daily life as a human. She isn't an average monster, you would see in movies or books. She doesn't act inhuman.

And because of that I've been wondering, what makes you be classed as a human? Or a monster?

Does the way you live allow you to be classed as a human? Or is it by what you are? What you're classed as?

This thought has been pondering my mind for many days. It's not an important question, nor do I need to know, so why is it bothering me so much?

Is it because I might be classed as a monster, despite being a human, that's bothering me so much?

I don't feel human. I don't act human. Why do I find humans and even, inhumans so interesting? It's not a normal hobby or interest. It was weird, I knew. It's not normal for someone to not have positive reactions, and only negative.

I don't think I've ever smiled, or laughed genuinely, or done anything of the sort. No, I've only ever had negative expressions.

But not only that, why do I get off on other people's misery? Why is that? Why do I like to find humour in that? Why do I purposely like testing people? Manipulating, & causing havoc in people's lives?

I knew it wasn't normal, so why do I do it? It seems like I've always done it, even from a very young age, but why? Was I born like this?

Someone with only disgusting reactions. Someone that only finds happiness in other people's downfalls.

I purposely cause havoc in someone else's life, with an email, a phone call or a message on the chat, stirring everything up in people's daily lives and then I wait to see what would happen. How people would react. Then, I get off on that. But why? Why do I do that? Why?