"You need to stop thinking about it, mate" Glen said as him and I walked down the muddy tulip fields with our bicycles parked on the roadside, "That was an accident!"
"You fuckin shat your pants while coughing. I ain't never goin nowhere with you again!" I was frustrated because he made me bike all the way there, only to shit his pants and come back midway. I was so annoyed.
"I just wanted to rejuvenate myself!"
"Rejuvenate on my penis!"
"Boy, if you don't fuckin stop right this instant!"
"What you gonna do? Shit your pants again? Yeah, that's what I thought! I came here because you wanted me to. I fuckin hate flowers, you know that,"
It's been a week since I gave up smoking. And it has been making me really agitated. I hate not getting to smoke. Also, I hate flowers. I'm allergic to pollen. But Glen loves flowers and I'm forced to accompany him to the field.
"Babyboy, are you even human? Who doesn't like flowers?" Glen asked me.
"Respectfully, kill yourself,"
Glen sat before the tulip fields for a while. It was partially sunny, the sun wasn't strong but it was warm and humid. I felt so hot, I was sweating everywhere, even places where I usually didn't sweat. It felt gross so I decided to lay down on the cool grass and look at the sky.
Glen passed me a cigarette and I told myself, fuck it. You only live once. So, we lit our cigarettes and lay in the fields, waiting for a breeze to cool us down after all that cycling. Very soon, we would both have jobs. And frankly, I would miss this. Whatever we have, Glen and I.
"The universe is a piece of shit," I yawned.
"The universe doesn't care about a dutchmen trying to quit smoking" Glen smirked.
"And a down-bad dutchman," I smirked back at him as I retaliated.
"Shit, that's me," Glen laughed and I turned my face, looking at him directly,
"You don't want that, trust me,"
"Why not? To be in love, I've heard it's a wonderful feeling. I've never been in love before,"
"Your inexperience is making you delusional. Love. Love is a meaningless ideal towards fleeting oblivion. The stars fall, plants die, earth warms up and consumes us, in the higher order of things, relationships don't matter. The universe doesn't care about you. Relationships are a hassle,"
"You and I perceive love very differently, my friend. You think knowing that you don't matter in the grand scheme things makes love meaningless, but I think that is what makes love meaningful. Knowing that it doesn't matter to others, but it matters to you. And it is, then, your own little universe. I think love is beautiful...If done with the right person, of course," He smiled his idiotic smile.
"Love weakens men," I looked at the sky, looked at my own failures, "And the perpetrators of love, who sell it in cheap candy jars, spit it on the faces of idiots like me and you, not a lot, but just enough to keep us coming back to it. It's a sick desire to control, it's a play of power, where you lose no matter what you do. It's a game for sentimental bastards like you," I puffed out air from my mouth, "Me though, I am not a sentimental bastard,"
I wanted to tell Glen that...I had never been in love before either. I don't even know what it feels like. But I have had sex before. And every time I make love to a girl, I feel good...yet I don't need to be in love with her to feel that. Again and again.
-To be continued
YOU ARE READING
Maximus of Mine
RomanceWe met by chance because your friends wanted to party and you came along even when you didn't feel like it. You are gorgeous, but so is your possessive girlfriend who doesn't like you talking to other women. But then I see you walking towards me, wi...
