of the loved and the unloved

bittersweet, too bitter

"sir kaeya?" the knocks snap him out of his focus, he looks up to see adelinde by the door and she's looking at him like a mother. it gives him goosebumps, and he has to momentarily look away not to wince. how unnerving. 

she walks and stops next to him where he sits in diluc's seat. her eyes darted to his work, well— diluc's work and since he's been prioritizing the man's work more than his, it's almost finished. maybe his style of writing might be a bit different, and the reports might have different handwriting but it's definitely legible. it's starting to make him nervous so he asks, "is everything alright?" 

"no.. i'm just a bit surprised you've found no troubles." 

he smiles proudly, "well, as i've said. a few documents won't give me problems. i have asked elzer to give me a quick run-over things so it's just been a lot of writing. don't worry." his hands compile the report and straighten it, hitting it softly against the desk before moving onto the next one. he's almost finished with diluc's last batch; it's a relief. 

the last thing he wants is to make life more difficult for his brother. well— if he did want to do that, it'd be miscellaneous and trivial. for example, he would dampen all of his coats, considering that's what diluc ever wears. he'd be left with nothing but his shirt and even imagining it makes kaeya snicker to himself. other than that, he could hide all of diluc's pens, or take all his ink— he could squirt all his toothpaste into his sink. 

"as reliable as always. i see your handwriting hasn't changed much since your youth," 

"adelinde, i'm not sure if that's much of a compliment." 

she laughs and it's the feeling you get when you make a parent happy. like summer in your chest or birds chirping in your ear, he hates it. adelinde isn't his mother, but her aura consumes him. there's a short silence between them, and he focuses back on the work. 

"lunch is ready downstairs. you look like you haven't eaten and the pancakes from this morning are untouched. please, take a break soon." 

kaeya doesn't respond, and she leaves the room. he sighs, shaking his head and ignoring her, because he doesn't want to eat any of her cooking, and he doesn't want to indulge in any of the luxury in this house.

it makes him sick. 

_______________

it's 1700 hours when he finally finishes all the work. his wrists feel as if they're on the brink of falling off and his fingers are trembling. he stands up and the way his bones crack again make him wince. he's about to pack all of his stuff when the door suddenly opens, he turns around expecting to see adelinde again and it is, but his eyes widen when she comes along with his favourite alchemist… 

and his partner. 

the alchemist gives him a narrow look, and his arms cross frustratedly. sucrose looks at him panickedly, as if she's worried he's about to blow up and kaeya quickly realises he must have done something wrong. he doesn't remember stealing any potions, or leaving any work behind, or any forgetting any days.. did he? 

"they requested to see you, sir kaeya." after kaeya thanks her, she bows and leaves; quickly realizing this isn't something she can stay and listen to. 

regardless of the questioning circumstances, he greets, "well hello, you two. now, what pleasure do i owe to be in our chief alchemist's and his best student's presence today?" it seems to make albedo angrier, and it makes his grin falter slightly, because he's never seen albedo that angry. 

his mind wheels through memories as fast as it can, trying to think of anything he could've possibly forgotten and when it hits him, he all but crumbles inside— fuck.