of the loved and the unloved

comfort

there is no nsfw— did i chicken out? no i didn't. shut up.

and to the chiluc shippers who've been waiting for this one, you're welcome.

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it's quiet in the bar where the door is hanging open the way it is. only the sounds of raindrops fill the silence. zhongli slowly stands up and walks towards it, and he turns around with an unreadable expression. "childe, it is getting late. should you need my presence before our departure, you may find me in one of the ins of mondstadt. until then, enjoy your weekend."

the harbinger nods, too jumbled to really respond properly. zhongli bows politely one last time before exiting the tavern and closing the door; the drops of rain that were previously loud and crisp in the air were now receded to muffled taps.

"um, excuse me but what just happened?" childe questions aloud, looking bewildered. he'd never seen kaeya with that expression before, and frankly, he can't make out what it is at all. it's almost impossible to interpret, so was zhongli xiansheng's.

he sighs and looks at diluc, and diluc looks more disturbed than confused. it makes it clear that it's not an occasional thing kaeya does.

child is worried. he gets up and walks to the other's side warily. the redhead is so deep in thought he doesn't notice him approaching until someone taps his shoulder and snaps him out of it, flinching.

his hands are then gently but tightly held by the harbinger, and it would soothe him if he could just get over what happened. honestly, he could probably be worrying over nothing, because kaeya is just as unpredictable, maybe more than any human could possibly be but—

the last time he saw that expression on kaeya, that manner, was long ago— long ago when his father was still alive. where he was still breathing, healthy and well enough to cradle a small child with persian blue hair in his arms and shush him from his strangled cries. those haunting wails of kaeya's that still wake him up in tears to this day, and—and diluc thought that that kaeya should have gotten over them by now but what if he hasn't?

what was it in this tavern that could have made him like that in the first place? was it zhongli? was it about him being the geo archon? was it because he was working at the manor?

fuck. diluc never thought he would have have to be thinking about this again— he is just so tired. he hates thinking about kaeya, and his dad, and the knights of favonius, and khaenri'ah and— and everything, and—

it's been a while since he visited his father's grave.

"diluc." childe softly nudges, concerned by every sense of the word.

"ajax." diluc's voice echoed, whispering back, and childe pulls him in for a tight hug, because he can't remember anyone saying his name sounding so perplexedly lost.

he's even more concerned when diluc doesn't even push away; he just sinks into it and childe can feel the debilitating grief and pain and just pure confusion of diluc's ebbing away at him. he hates that he can't make things better, and it's not like he's known diluc for a lifetime, but he knows enough to know that he is in love.

childe knows he loves diluc when he would tear his lungs out of his chest and give it to him if it would just help diluc breathe from where it feels like he's drowning.

"...i'm here."

it's what childe's father used to say to him, whenever he felt upset as a child. that's what his father would say when the boat would shake a bit too much, or when he woke up at night with a knife in his hands, too scared to sleep, or when he shakily pulled a blade at strangers, thinking they were going to hurt him.